THE DAILY DIVERSION

Well, the college version anyway. I'm planning on going out to a bar with a few Mississippi State grads tonight to watch their Bulldogs take on South Carolina. Being that it's both teams first game of the year, I feel like it'll be close, with a bunch of mistakes on both sides of the ball. Either way I'm excited that college football is starting up. Saturday is going to be great. I get to watch both of my favorite teams on TV. Western is playing Georgia during the day and the Irish are playing Georgia Tech that night. It doesn't get much better than that. Well, for Adrianne it does. She may miss the calm, normal me?

We were not woken up at 5 am this morning. The guy had to park on a different floor and he wasn't right under our window. I checked it out before we went to bed last night, just so we'd know. I turned in his information to our office manager last night. She she said she'll call one of her police buddies so she can find out who's car it is. Then she'll talk with him, if he lives in our building. I hope it makes something happen. Adrianne was a little more upset yesterday morning than I thought about it. She was feeling like I did a couple of weeks ago, when it woke me up, but didn't wake her. We both know what it's like now.

It seems that both Adrianne and one of her fellow teachers had a kind of bad day yesterday. So, to make things all better we went to Rio Loco and had Margaritas. Well, I had two jumbos. Yes, I was tanked, but not "knock-down drunk". Her co-worker and I had to have a dance off on Main Street, because she challenged me. Adrianne got some of the video on her phone, but didn't get the best parts.

Well, that was our exciting night. I've got some work to get to. Actually, again, I'm working on someone else's work. It'll probably take me most of the day.

I updated the "rules" today. See the new on here. Adios!

Adrianne and I, both, now have a problem. I'm trying to figure out how to solve it, and I'm going try something today to fix the problem, but who knows. I know what you're thinking... No, we're not having marital problems already.

Instead... The FUCKING CAR ALARM HAS WOKEN BOTH OF US UP AT 5:05 AM THE LAST TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS! We're both pretty pissed about it too. Adrianne actually drove by it this morning and got the license plate number, make, model, etc. I'm going to talk to our office manager, since the guy who drives the car lives in our building (and the owners of the parking garage own our building too), just to see if she knows who owns it and if she can talk to him. I'm afraid I may bash his brains in. This is just getting ridiculous. How many posts have I made where I reference this stupid car alarm?

Anyway, to lighten the mood... I'm going to try this "10 Thing You Probably Don't Know About Me" thing. So, here's what I've got:

1. I have a very deep fear of snakes. I'm not afraid of most animals, even the ones that can eat me alive, but something about those slithering bastards just scares the bejesus out of me!
2. Truthfully, I fear being alone more than I fear death. I can live with dying (yeah, that sounds funny), but I couldn't be the last person on Earth until I died. That would be boring!
3. I was engaged once before. However, I know I got it right the second time around. I suppose everyone needs a practice run, especially with big decisions like this one.
4. I learn things better by actually doing them. I could sit in classes for a year about how to split an atom, and it wouldn't matter. However, let me sit down in front of one and I could blow the world up.
5. I have a horrible case of ADHD (that's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). When I was a kid we didn't have big names for problems like this. We also didn't have Ritalin and other drugs to make people in zombies. Instead, they told my Mom not to feed me so much sugar. I truly feel sorry for the Vitamin R generation.
6. I have three tattoos. Each one means something. Ask me about them sometimes. One is a screw up too. It's a funny story!
7. My wife loves me. She added that on my list that I had written down, so I thought I'd throw it on here.
8. By the age of 8 I had an IQ above 100. I'm not sure what it is now, but I feel like I'm a pretty smart guy. At least people don't tell me I'm a dumbass anyway.
9. I have never been challenged, mentally. By this I mean school has never been difficult. Work has never pushed me. The only time I really feel like I'm working is when I'm playing. I love trivia and puzzles (things that make the little hamster up in my head start to make the wheel go round). Those things still don't challenge me though. They just make me think. Man I sound like an egotist! Really, I'm not!
10. This is the most important one... I truly feel like I am a very lucky man and have been blessed. I have a wonderful wife. I have a great family (most of them anyway). I have great friends. I have a good job. I am educated. I can afford the things in life that I want. I have a roof over my head. My life gets better every day (no matter how many times that stupid car alarm wakes me up)!

Okay, so there are 10 things you may not have known about me. I guess I could've put #11 on there and had it say "I'm crazy", but who doesn't already know that? Anyway, I have a new "rule" today. You can check it out ---> HERE! Have a great day!

Like a lot of people I have problems listening. Well, for long stretches of time that is. I can sit there and act like I'm listening to you all night, but, in reality, I'm off in "la la" land. Just be sure not to ask me to recap what you said!

Anyway, my wife doesn't believe that I listen to her. Imagine that! Well, just to let her know that I'm listening, my brain decided to take all of the stuff she's been telling me about her days and dump them into one of my dreams last night.

Here are the things I can remember:

• I'm a third grade student in my wife's class. I actually look like myself and she knows we're married, but I think I'm doing some kind of undercover work or something.
• I go to switch classes for math, and suddenly I'm sitting there with no pencil or paper, while everyone else is writing stuff down. I ask if I can go to get my pencil and paper, and she lets me.
  
• I walk back to the other classroom, but they've moved around the desks and I can't find which one is mine. So, I start walking down the hallway to find my locker. In this maze of a school I get lost and end up over near the 7th and 8th grade classrooms, which is bad news.
• A fifth grader walks up on me and tries to bully me around. We get into a scuffle and I actually get the best of him. Then he pulls out a butane lighter that he says would be a torch if it had any "gas" in it. We become friends (I think), he gives me a little dap (fist bump if you don't know what it is), and points me in the direction of my locker.
• I walk down the hallway toward my locker, trying to remember the combination. Suddenly the fifth grader, whom I thought was my friend, comes running at me with a knife. I scramble around and, with kung fu like agility, hop up on top of the lockers. Now I'm hanging from the ceiling tiles fighting off his advances with my feet.
  
• About this time an 8th grader strolls up, not noticing me. It just so happens to be Gary Dourdan, the guy who plays Warrick Brown on CSI. He asks the 5th grader whats going on. I think he's trying to help me out.
  
• Things turn quickly and he starts trying to pull me down. Supposedly he wants my lunch money. I tell him I don't have any. While hanging, I somehow pull out my wallet and money starts flying everywhere. Most of it is counterfeit though. Instead of having Lincoln and those guy's mugs on the face of the note, I've got some guy named Ferguson and something else not even remotely close to one of our Presidents (I can't remember right now).
• I tell them I've got plenty more where that came from, if they'll leave me alone. I tell them that I can get them $30,000 in bills tomorrow. They let me go.
• I start heading back to my classroom, but get lost. At the same time I realize that I don't have my backpack, nor did I get my paper and pencil.

So, there you have it. I am listening to my wife on a daily basis. I like being the one that she talks to about her daily going's on. I'm glad I don't really have to tell her mine though. If I continue to have days like yesterday then I'm probably going to have to start drinking more. Really, all I wanted to do yesterday when I got home from work was grab a bottle and start giving it the "business".

I didn't though. I sat down on the couch, relaxed a little bit, then played some Xbox. Speaking of my gadgets... We ordered a new phone for me over the weekend. I got pretty much the same thing I had before, but it's the updated model. I got the RAZR V3i. It actually comes with Itunes built in, and an expansion slot that can hold up to 1 Gig in memory. Now that's not quite as stout as my Ipod, which holds 40 gigs of music, but it'll get me by. Adrianne actually asked me if she could have my Ipod. Anyone care to guess my reaction?

No, I didn't throw a backhand pimpslap down, but I think I might have said "Trick, please!" Actually, I think I said "Well, possibly. We'll see." Yeah, I'm a big puss, and wouldn't talk to my wife like that!

Anyway, I actually got around to getting this up this morning, for once. I thought I'd do it before I started dealing with everyone's problems. We've already got one going this morning. I had a voicemail waiting for me when I got here. Well, a couple of things have happened, and our stock is down 5% already today. They're thinking it might tumble as far as 15%, all today. See, this is what happens when other people try to tell you how to do your job! (well, I don't know that this is true, but I thought I'd stick my tongue out at the people that are trying to tell us how to do our job).

Last thing... Here is the updated "rule". Have a good one! (whatever it is)

I love the line off of the movie "Office Space"... "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays!"

When I hear it, it really does make me want to punch something. Today, however, is the perfect case. First and foremost, again, I haven't been able to actually work on any of my stuff this morning at all. It's just after noon right now, and I'm going to be starting my work.

Part of this is due to one of my co-workers. Luckily he isn't here in Memphis with me, otherwise I'd probably have already ripped his head off! All I'm really going to say about it is this... Some people take the simplest of tasks and turn them into the grandest of events. I need him to do one simple thing and I sent him a fairly simple email about it. It read like this "Mr. X, would you mind looking at a small sample of such and such when you are reviewing credit X and Y?"

Of course, I assume a person that's been doing this job for 20 years would be able to use his own discretion and get the information and take care of it. Instead, I got 15 emails on Friday, before I said "Fuck it" and talked to my boss. After discussing things with him, I sent out another email clarifying what we wanted. Problem solved, right?

No, my luck is never that good. Instead I get an email first thing this morning, and he thinks we're not looking at his stuff at all now. I'm still confused how he got that idea, especially when I mentioned him by name in the "clarification" email.

Round and round we go. It always seems this way, especially when I have a ton of shit to do!

After getting this email this morning and resolving the issue (or so I thought), we all get together for a staff meeting. We rarely have these because we're usually so busy that we just don't have time. We got some bad news. Not bad like we're losing our jobs, but bad enough. Some other departments are trying to push more work down on us, when it needs to go to a completely different department. Also, another division is trying to restructure how we do our jobs, when it's evident they have no clue what we actually do. If we were to do as they say, it would take us about two days to do what usually takes about a month. Wouldn't that be fun? It wouldn't be correct, or assess any risk, but it would be quick! We could get our entire year's worth of work done in about two weeks, then we could just sit on our asses and browse the internet for the other 50 weeks of the year. Hmm... maybe I need to reconsider my stance on this?

Anyway, today is just one of those days. I'm not going to let it be as bad as that day I had a while back though. I'm going to go home here in a few, grab a bite to eat, and just relax a little bit. I did one of my buddies over at Hilltopper Haven a favor this weekend, so I've gotta run over to the post office and mail it to him. I enjoy making people happy, even if it is just for a fleeting moment.

I had planned on posting "10 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me" today, but since it's gone the way it has, and since I'm short on time, that will just have to wait for another day. I only had a couple of things in mind anyway, so that will give me a little more time to think of things.

So, I'll close with my update to the "Rules". I hope you have a better day than I am having!

If it's the last thing we ever do!

Man, I've been busy today! It's a Friday for crying out loud! I'm not supposed to work on Friday. The saddest thing is that I haven't actually done anything on any of my work. I've been working on everyone else's problems. Yes, every now and then it sucks to be in charge, because all of the questions roll up to you. Good thing these projects don't last year round, because I'd have to get paid a hell of a lot more to put up with this all the time!

Anyway, I posted a new "rule" this morning, but as soon as I started to work on this blog I got busy. Here is the "rule of thumb" for today. This one is courtesy of my beautiful wife. She actually thought of it while driving home the other day. A truck in front of her, for some strange reason, stomped on his brakes, causing her to do the same, and every car behind her too. Anyway, she (as well as myself many times before) was amazed at how the brain just knows to do these things, so I thought I'd add this one to the list. So, help your brain out every now and then, and stop doing meth!

I had a long, crazy dream last night. So many things happened before and after the part I'm about to describe, but I couldn't remember them by the time I got around to writing things down in my journal. Anyway, here are my notes:

• I was participating in a demolition derby that was actually in a parking garage.
  
• I was driving a huge 70's model Cadillac that was a neon Carolina blue color (very pimpish I might add)
• Suddenly the cops show up to break up our little party, so we leave our car behind and head to the top of the parking structure. From there we climb onto a huge brick fence (like a castle wall) that surrounds the back yard of a huge house.
• For some reason I'm hanging out with a girl named Jennifer that I went to high school with (no, we never dated, and no, she wasn't really attractive)
• This house is situated right next door to my Mom's house (or so I'm telling everyone)
• The house had just been purchased, so I'm strolling through it introducing myself to everyone.
• I had been told stories about this house being haunted but never had any "close encounters" of my own.
• I'm told that the owner is upstairs, so we head up there.
• I reach the top step and am suddenly held strictly in place by some "unseen" force.
• I plead with the "force" to let me pass, but it won't. The only thing I can do is go back downstairs.
• I tell the people downstairs that the ghost doesn't want me to find what's upstairs for some reason.

That's all I remember. It was kind of crazy and really all over the place.

So, that's what you get for today. This is what happens when I'm rushed and busy on a Friday. What did I talk about last Friday? Hmm... Yet another movement toward senility? Anyway, I'll leave this little picture for the weekend (I forgot to post it yesterday):

This is a picture of my goofy ass trying on sunglasses at this silly store over on Beale Street. I meant to send this picture to my boy PT, but forgot. Imagine that?

Okay, with all of the recent negativity I've had on here (and don't worry, because there will be more later), I decided I'd devote a day to some pictures and ideas that just make me smile from ear to ear.

First off is my "Rule" update for the day. I cannot take credit for this one. Mary Jo down the hall actually said it, and I'm just spreading it to the world. Every time I read the sentence I almost bust out laughing. I did last night and almost shot beer out of my nose. I guess that would be funny to some, but it would be damn painful to me!

Now, yesterday I mentioned that my phone is kaput, right? Anyway, it will still turn on, so I hooked it up to my computer last night and tried to save everything over, just in case I get a new phone (so I can put all of that crap on it too). While I was going through all of the pictures and contacts I ran across some pictures I had forgotten I'd taken with my camera phone. Here they are:


Okay, the first one I took on the way home from work one day. I'm guessing this person either A) Really, really likes pink, or B) Is a very low end Mary Kay dealer. Either way, the car is funny as hell looking.

Picture two is of one of my favorite things... Fireworks. This one was actually taken on the rooftop on July 2nd or 3rd. I can't remember which. Either way, I've talked about how much I love fireworks before on here, so I won't get into it all again!

This third picture makes me roll on the floor. This is our niece. We were at Adrianne's Mom's salon one day a while back and someone had left a wig there. First I put it on, just to see if I looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Well, I did, but it got even better. We put the wig on Grace, and what you see in the picture is how it went down. She was confused at first, but had a short fuse with the wig, and tossed it off her head.

The last picture I took while I was shopping for my wife's wedding present. To a lot of people this isn't funny at all. However, to me, it just made me laugh. I kept thinking to myself "Abba Zabba, you're my only friend!" You'd have to have seen the movie "Half Baked" to get that joke. Yes, potheads are funny to me!

Okay, I've had some fun today! I hope you've enjoyed the pictures and maybe I was able to brighten one person's otherwise shitty day! Have a great one!

Okay, so I've had enough of ranting, for now. Instead, I'm going to try to get back in the flow of just talking about what's going on everyday with me and my beautiful wife.

However, first I have to give a link to my updated "Rules". I only do this because "someone" tells me they never check over there unless it's linked to in my post here. Somehow the link over to the right is too difficult to find, or something. Look over there -------->

Okay, so I'm getting soft in my old age. That, or marriage has just loosened me up some. Back when I was younger (yeah, like that was eons ago or something) I would get amazingly angry about little things. These days, however, I try to take things in stride. As I try to explain to my wife, there's nothing you can really do about it, because things happen.

I think a lot of it harkens to my feeling that fate plays it's hand in so many parts of our lives. It was, after all, fate that brought Adrianne and I together. I've told that story already. If you missed it, check it out here. Anyway, I feel like things happen for a reason. I'm not quite sure what the reasoning fate has for making my phone short out when a little wine got on it is, but we'll see, won't we? We're currently in the process of looking for replacements. I really liked my Motorola RAZR, so that's my first choice. I just don't plan on paying a couple hundred dollars for another new phone, so we have to get it cheap!

Work is going well right now. I've stopped being lazy and I'm actually working on my reviews. Our new employee is in Nashville doing some training, so I have a little time to work on things myself. It's too bad I've wasted most of the two days she hasn't been here, otherwise I could probably have close to half of my work done. It's alright though, because I'll probably get to pass off some of my work to other (only because they were assigned less accounts and somehow finished up early).

Married life is good too. It could be somewhat better, but we're both getting used to it. Adrianne's working late nearly every night, and I fully expected that. It just kind of sucks that she leaves before I'm awake in the morning and then gets home after I do every night. The only time we have together is after she gets home and on the weekends. After work is pretty much shot, because she has loose ends to take care of. We usually get about a half hour together every night where we have each other's full and undivided attention. It just so happens that time is usually dinner time.

I have, however, been working on my cooking skills. Having her work late pretty much puts me in the kitchen every night, which isn't a bad thing. I enjoy cooking for others. I hate cooking for just myself. At the same time though, I don't know that I could cook for an army either. I think the most I've ever cooked for is eight people, and it seemed like I was just running around from place to place, making sure everything was okay. That's not a whole lot of fun.

Anyway, tonight I'm making Indian food for Adrianne, Mary Jo, and myself. I'm hoping it's good, and that it doesn't make me spend 90% of my day tomorrow on the toilet! I'll leave you with that thought!

Yesterday I spoke out about my dislike for some music genres. Today, I'm in a complete different zone. Today, the ilk of "Reality TV" has drawn my ire.

First and foremost, any show that actually calls itself "Reality TV" is not television about reality. The one and only "Reality TV" program ever created is "COPS". There are no judges. The audience doesn't have a say in the outcome of the program. You just get what the officers get. Sometimes someone goes to jail. Sometimes they go away in a bodybag. Sometimes they just go back home.

The only thing "Reality TV" actually is, is staged. It is staged for "drama". They want you to think that what's going on is real. The people there may not be actors, but they're playing their part. They're getting their 15 minutes of fame, and will do whatever they can to sustain it for longer. Why do you think there have been "wedding night" porno video's for half of the "cast" of Survivor?

Speaking of Survivor... Yes, I'll start with this true piece of shit. Actually, all I really want to say about it is this... There is no way in hell that a gay marketing exec out "survives" the most decorated and "grizzled" Navy Seal, ever. Period. Rudy (the SEAL) in "real" life would've ripped that douchebag's head off and shit down his neck, then tossed his rotting carcass into the ocean for the sea turtles to snack on. Well, maybe that's how I see "reality" anyway.

Most of the people they put on this show couldn't last 15 minutes stranded on a deserted island. They'd go crazy and start chewing on their toes or something, then end up wandering out into the sea and drown. Again, becoming fish food. Hell, these people probably couldn't survive being stranded at a Motel 6 in Las Vegas, with $10,000 in their pockets. Most of them are just complete idiots. I'm sick of "Survivor"!

Now, on to "The Real World"... Okay, I'll admit it... I watched the first season or two. I watched it to see who was going to get killed. It almost happened too, and it's just too bad it didn't happen, because if it would've, we wouldn't be subjected to all of the "reality" shit that is on the air now. All it really takes is one person dying on a "reality" show and the entire genre will die with it. Man, that can't happen soon enough!

As for "The Real World"... This is the only place that would try to mesh the following: militant black man, hippie slob, Gay man and/or lesbian, wanna-be porno actress, midwestern female with ZERO common sense, and a Redneck. All I can say is... WHY?

Why would you want to put all of these ingredients into a pot? You don't put a sleeping bag full of rattlesnakes, a grizzly bear, a porcupine, a skunk, a mongoose, a great white shark, and a velociraptor in a 1977 Volkswagen Bus and expect it to be a party, do you? Sure, hop on in there and have a ball.

There's nothing real about this. These people, no matter how nice they really are, would never go out of their way to befriend each other. Not even for 5 minutes. EVER!

Lastly, and this might be the most evil thing ever... American Idol. Really, these people have to be delusional, right? Who all has won so far? Their careers have been how long again? If I even though of trying out to get on the show I would think about two things: The woman who got thrown off for making a porno several years ago, and the Asian dude who was ridiculed mercilessly.

First off, I've done some shit in my day. The last thing I want is the entire world to know about it, strictly because I was on TV for 3 minutes, singing a Boy George song (that's the song assigned to me, not my preference). Secondly, it's just wrong. I make fun of people all the time, yet I kind of keep it low profile. This guy had the balls to get up there and give it everything he had. What did he get in return? I don't have to tell you, because you know.

However, he did end up being 1,000 more known about than the person who actually won the show, so it can't be all that bad. Personally, I prefer to be made fun of at a much lower level, than national TV. Yeah, "She Bangs".

I was so done with "reality" TV when it first started up. I still love "COPS" though.

My beautiful wife suggested that I make this post (from yesterday) it's own story. That way it can be read separately from the normal silliness that I produce. Here you go:

As a forewarning, I have my opinion on things (obviously) and I'm not saying my opinion is correct. However, I've been thinking about this for a little while now, and I have to get this out there.

This may become a multi-part expose (missing the accent mark there), because it might become long. Anyway, I don't know if this is government sanctioned or not (but it easily could be), and that would be very paranoid of me to say so, and, thus, could be the end of this blog if they find out I know the truth, but...

Could it be that the government has intentionally pushed certain types of music into the mainstream in order to "dumb us down" as a nation?

If you look through the history of music there have been many types that were socio-political, yet never lasted. The hippies tried to push their agenda of peace through music, but that didn't last (drugs were part of the problem there). During the late 1980's, hip hop groups like Public Enemy were pushing the envelope with anti-political statements, yet never were widely accepted, nor played on the radio. Bob Marley consistently tried to battle the evils of the world through music, and there are a thousand conspiracies about his death (at a young age). The list goes on and on.

However, what types of music have endeavored and actually grown? First off, we have "pop" music. We're constantly bombarded with teen beauty queens that are all fluff and no substance. We get to hear the "catchy" hooks and rehashed beats and rhythms. That's great! Please play the same songs 1,000 times a day. I appreciate it.

Now we have something called "pop"-country. I have never liked country music. Period. However, I gave the pioneers their credit because, at least, their music had "soul". Their songs were about hardships and trying to overcome obstacles in their life (mostly alcohol abuse, but who's counting?). Now I'm asked if I "want a little yang in my ying-yang". Whatever the fuck that means?

Lastly, and most importantly, we have hip-hop. The greatest culprit in this melee of our intelligence. Single-handedly, hip-hop has destroyed the English language and millions of urban and suburanites ability to speak it. It has penetrated so deep into the entire culture of the world (not just the United State) that you can hear "Yeeeaaah!", "Holla", and "Grrrrl" all across the globe.

I pick hip-hop out the most, because it's what I hear the most, and I must listen to the people that are influenced the most by it trying to speak on a daily basis. Personally, I am a big proponent for the use of contractions. I don't enjoy speaking sentences that are forty words long, really (no matter how I type). However, what used to be people using "don't" for "do not", "shouldn't" for "should not", "couldn't" for "could not", "wouldn't" or "won't" for "would not", have been replaced with "do'n", "sho'n", "co'n", and "wo'n".

Then we have the lack of creativity in the new hip-hop lifestyle. They talk about how hip-hop is pushing the envelope and is being so ingenious. However, it doesn't take talent nor creativity, to completely remake a song that was done 30 years ago (and with some "soul") and call it new and fresh. Wearing a hat crooked isn't creative either. Great! Your eyes aren't shield from the sun anymore. I get it! Wearing clothes that are 6 times too big for you, so that they fall off is a great idea. I could understand this one, if, and only if, the person was buying the clothes so that they could wear them for 30 years, thus growing into them as they get fat and old.

I thoroughly enjoyed hip-hop back when the performers were singing the praises of their forefathers (Malcolm X, MLK, etc) and trying educate and make things better for themselves and their race (actually all races, through understanding the differences in us). However, those artists (Public Enemy, De La Soul, Afrika Bambaataa, Eric B. & Rakim, etc) never enjoyed hearing their hit single played nationwide, five billion times a day. However, just a few years ago you could hear Nelly talking about a fucking pair of sneakers (actually just repeating the same few words over and over) at least twice an hour on almost any radio station across the world (not just the hip-hop stations).

The norm now is to rap about "bling", "bitches", and how much money you have. The reality of it is this... Most Hip-hop artists don't have shit. The producers and record executives get all of the money. Most of what the artists have is rented and shines only in their videos. I won't even get started on that!

These "new" artists are pimped by the exec's that pick them, knowing they have no clue how the industry works. The exec signs them to some deal (probably a guarantee of some sum of money that is extraordinarily large to the artist-like $100,000, but, in reality is chump change to the exec, who's going to make millions off of the artist), then makes the artist bust their ass writing (if you call it that), performing, and getting face time on TV or at radio stations. For the exec it's a wise investment, but for the artist, it's just a new form of slavery (because they have to live up to the lifetime of the contract-multiple records, etc). The plantation is optional.

To wrap up this section of my rant... Music, in and of itself, is a beautiful thing. So much of it has "soul" and bleeds emotion where people can relate to it. However, this music isn't what is sold to the population via the radio, TV, and internet chat boxes. It must be found and put out there for everyone, so we can dispense with the idiocy.

So, do yourself a favor... Turn off the radio, stop watching the "booty shakin' " videos the CMT, BET, MTV or any other three letter channel wants you to see, and find yourself some real music. If you're a country fan, go look up the "ol' timers". If you like hip-hop, search out the roots of the genre (i.e. Grandmaster Flash--Go to IMDB.com and put that in the search bar at the top. It'll give you a list of similar artists and who influenced him and who he influenced. It's a good start.) If you like rock, well, there are so many places to start. First off, don't listen to anything that's played on the pop stations (i.e. Nickelback, Coldplay, Staind, etc). If you like pop... Well, I'm sorry, because you have to start from scratch.

I'll try tomorrow to enlighten you some more, if you've actually made it this far.

Well, the weekend is over, again... As usual, it was way too short, and, as usual, I didn't sleep for shit last night. It wasn't because of the car alarm though. That only went off once this morning, and I'm not even sure it was the same car.

Adrianne went to sleep without me at 10:40 last night. I made it in there right at 11, but I wasn't even remotely tired. I just knew that I needed to go to bed, or I'd be paying for it today. Well, I'm paying for it regardless. I tried to watch TV for a while, but there was nothing on. So, I put on one of the relaxing "wave" sounds that I used to sleep to all the time. I tried to concentrate on it, but I kept singing the stupid song "Lonely No More" by Rob Thomas to myself. It's one of Adrianne's favorites, and we had just finished watching an interview with him on TV before she went to bed. I don't know if that was exactly why the song was in my head, or if me wanting to ask Adrianne the ever important question, "Does that song mean a lot less to you now that you know it's just a joke and not some super romantic ballad?" I say that because, during the interview, he commented on the song "Yeah, I had so many songs containing the words 'lonely' and 'angry' so I threw them in there to poke fun at myself". I thought this was hilarious, yet I didn't want to interrupt the show by asking Adrianne about it then. By the time the show was over I had forgotten about it, until the song popped into my head.

So, finally, I dozed off. I think it was around 2 am, but I'm not sure. I know it had been a while since I put my head on the pillow though. I had just fallen asleep when the hand-held shower head (that I had mounted earlier that day) fell off the wall (again). With a loud "whump" I was wide awake, again. Yes, this is how most of my nights of sleep go.

I'm not sure how long it took me to fall back asleep, but I think I quickly began dreaming. I had a really, really cool dream that was actually about the next Superman movie. I'm not sure how this got in my head, but I thought it was only going to be the trailer for it, but before long it was a full blown movie. It was pretty cool stuff too. You want to hear all about it? No?

Too bad! Here it is...

It begins with General Zod, flanked again by Ursa and Non (from Superman II), standing in front of an entire legion of Kryptonian evildoers, who are hell-bent on taking over Earth. Superman is face to face with Zod, while there are troops of Earthlings behind him with laser weaponry that can take down the enemy.

Before long, I'm actually Superman, but no one knows it. The evil forces have done tons of damage and forced most humans into hiding. I'm with an elite group of trained combatants and we're getting ready to start our last offensive. Before we go, some woman gives me a new set of golf clubs. For some reason, it's the greatest gift ever. However, our enjoyment quickly ended, when Zod's troops start attacking.

We're sent running for the hideout. I leave my clubs behind in the haste of running for the hills. However, as we're running, the person who gave me them tells me to go back to get them and meet them at the place. We get split up and they end up at the hideout. I run back, grab the clubs and have to make my way back to the hideout.

Somehow the hideout is underwater now, and the only way to get there is to flatten myself to the thickness of a sheet of paper, which I somehow can do. I do this and slip into the ventilation system. Most everyone is underwater (and breathing, nonetheless) when I join up with them.

I don't know what happens next, as I was woken out of my slumber by a buzzing sound. All I know is that if the next Superman is half as good as my dream, then we're in for another great movie. Did I mention that I truly loved "Superman Returns"? I can't wait for it to come out on DVD.

Before I get into the next thing... Here is the latest edition of my "Rules". This one is for my boy PT.

Now, onto to some ideas I had this weekend. As a forewarning, I have my opinion on things (obviously) and I'm not saying my opinion is correct. However, I've been thinking about this for a little while now, and I have to get this out there.

This may become a multi-part expose (missing the accent mark there), because it might become long. Anyway, I don't know if this is government sanctioned or not (but it easily could be), and that would be very paranoid of me to say so, and, thus, could be the end of this blog if they find out I know the truth, but...

Could it be that the government has intentionally pushed certain types of music into the mainstream in order to "dumb us down" as a nation?

If you look through the history of music there have been many types that were socio-political, yet never lasted. The hippies tried to push their agenda of peace through music, but that didn't last (drugs were part of the problem there). During the late 1980's, hip hop groups like Public Enemy were pushing the envelope with anti-political statements, yet never were widely accepted, nor played on the radio. Bob Marley consistently tried to battle the evils of the world through music, and there are a thousand conspiracies about his death (at a young age). The list goes on and on.

However, what types of music have endeavored and actually grown? First off, we have "pop" music. We're constantly bombarded with teen beauty queens that are all fluff and no substance. We get to hear the "catchy" hooks and rehashed beats and rhythms. That's great! Please play the same songs 1,000 times a day. I appreciate it.

Now we have something called "pop"-country. I have never liked country music. Period. However, I gave the pioneers their credit because, at least, their music had "soul". Their songs were about hardships and trying to overcome obstacles in their life (mostly alcohol abuse, but who's counting?). Now I'm asked if I "want a little yang in my ying-yang". Whatever the fuck that means?

Lastly, and most importantly, we have hip-hop. The greatest culprit in this melee of our intelligence. Single-handedly, hip-hop has destroyed the English language and millions of urban and suburanites ability to speak it. It has penetrated so deep into the entire culture of the world (not just the United State) that you can hear "Yeeeaaah!", "Holla", and "Grrrrl" all across the globe.

I pick hip-hop out the most, because it's what I hear the most, and I must listen to the people that are influenced the most by it trying to speak on a daily basis. Personally, I am a big proponent for the use of contractions. I don't enjoy speaking sentences that are forty words long, really (no matter how I type). However, what used to be people using "don't" for "do not", "shouldn't" for "should not", "couldn't" for "could not", "wouldn't" or "won't" for "would not", have been replaced with "do'n", "sho'n", "co'n", and "wo'n".

Then we have the lack of creativity in the new hip-hop lifestyle. They talk about how hip-hop is pushing the envelope and is being so ingenious. However, it doesn't take talent nor creativity, to completely remake a song that was done 30 years ago (and with some "soul") and call it new and fresh. Wearing a hat crooked isn't creative either. Great! Your eyes aren't shield from the sun anymore. I get it! Wearing clothes that are 6 times too big for you, so that they fall off is a great idea. I could understand this one, if, and only if, the person was buying the clothes so that they could wear them for 30 years, thus growing into them as they get fat and old.

I thoroughly enjoyed hip-hop back when the performers were singing the praises of their forefathers (Malcolm X, MLK, etc) and trying educate and make things better for themselves and their race (actually all races, through understanding the differences in us). However, those artists (Public Enemy, De La Soul, Afrika Bambaataa, Eric B. & Rakim, etc) never enjoyed hearing their hit single played nationwide, five billion times a day. However, just a few years ago you could hear Nelly talking about a fucking pair of sneakers (actually just repeating the same few words over and over) at least twice an hour on almost any radio station across the world (not just the hip-hop stations).

The norm now is to rap about "bling", "bitches", and how much money you have. The reality of it is this... Most Hip-hop artists don't have shit. The producers and record executives get all of the money. Most of what the artists have is rented and shines only in their videos. I won't even get started on that!

These "new" artists are pimped by the exec's that pick them, knowing they have no clue how the industry works. The exec signs them to some deal (probably a guarantee of some sum of money that is extraordinarily large to the artist-like $100,000, but, in reality is chump change to the exec, who's going to make millions off of the artist), then makes the artist bust their ass writing (if you call it that), performing, and getting face time on TV or at radio stations. For the exec it's a wise investment, but for the artist, it's just a new form of slavery (because they have to live up to the lifetime of the contract-multiple records, etc). The plantation is optional.

To wrap up this section of my rant... Music, in and of itself, is a beautiful thing. So much of it has "soul" and bleeds emotion where people can relate to it. However, this music isn't what is sold to the population via the radio, TV, and internet chat boxes. It must be found and put out there for everyone, so we can dispense with the idiocy.

So, do yourself a favor... Turn off the radio, stop watching the "booty shakin' " videos the CMT, BET, MTV or any other three letter channel wants you to see, and find yourself some real music. If you're a country fan, go look up the "ol' timers". If you like hip-hop, search out the roots of the genre (i.e. Grandmaster Flash--Go to IMDB.com and put that in the search bar at the top. It'll give you a list of similar artists and who influenced him and who he influenced. It's a good start.) If you like rock, well, there are so many places to start. First off, don't listen to anything that's played on the pop stations (i.e. Nickelback, Coldplay, Staind, etc). If you like pop... Well, I'm sorry, because you have to start from scratch.

I'll try tomorrow to enlighten you some more, if you've actually made it this far.

Well, since it's Friday, and pay day nonetheless, I thought I'd just wrap up some loose ends.

First and foremost, I was only woken up twice, again, this morning. Luckily for me, both were shortly after Adrianne left, which I'm assuming was around 7 am. I know she didn't want to get out of bed this morning for anything. I think her alarm went off three times before she finally said "Screw it! I'll get up." I've noticed that I've been sleeping better with her in bed with me than when she gets out of bed in the morning. Almost all my morning problems have happened once she leaves me alone in the king sized world.

I haven't had a whole lot of time to start on my work that I need to do for our review we're working on right now. Between teaching one of our new employees and fielding phone calls from one of our independent contractors, I've been run ragged. I haven't pulled any of the information for any of my stuff, but, at the same time, I haven't set a deadline for all of the reviews to be turned in either, so it works out.

I don't believe we have any big plans this weekend. I know we have to go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow, because we're running low on a lot of things. If we get time we really need to clean up our apartment, because it's a wreck. A large part of it is my fault, because I've had my Xbox controller glued to my hand every second I'm home since Monday, thus I haven't done anything around the house. We've even eaten out twice this week, which never happens. I finally cooked last night for a change. I've also got a ton of work shirts that need ironing this weekend, otherwise I'm going to be wearing some wrinkly ones next week. Maybe Sunday I'll get around to it. That's the day I always set aside to do that sort of thing, well, before I was married anyway.

I'm starting to get anxious about football season starting. I didn't think I was going to be, but once I started playing the game on Xbox it got me shaking like a heroine addict without a fix. Outside of a couple of teams, I don't know of who will make a run for the national title. Personally, I'm hoping on Notre Dame. They're my favorite college football team, well, until the Hilltoppers make the move from 1AA to the big time. I'm hoping that is soon.

I should have a full Labor Day weekend. We're heading up north again. I'm planning on having Adrianne drop me off in BG on Friday night, so I can stay there and watch WKU play at Georgia Saturday morning, then Paul and I can meet up with them in Owensboro after the game. Then the Irish play Georgia Tech that night. Two football games in one day? OH MY! (my wife will hate me by the time the day is over, I promise!)

I posted another "Rule" this morning. Personally, I think it's funny, and, yes, it's meant as a joke. I hope that person takes it that way and doesn't get mad at me, because I'd much rather be there than anyplace else on this earth (notice I didn't mention in the Galaxy? Who knows what's out there!). Anyway, have a great weekend and we'll do some catching up on Monday, unless I get really bored this weekend (don't count on it).

Well, my tertiary alarm (aka jackass' car alarm) only woke me up twice this morning. Once at 6:51 and again at 6:56. Without actually seeing the vehicles come and go, I'm going to assume that the first time it went off is when one of the people that were parked next to him left their parking spot and it went off again when someone new pulled into that spot.

I decided yesterday that I was going to wait to write the note to him until I was calm, cool, and collected, and mostly just so I wouldn't come across as an asshole. I was really hoping today would be that day, because I didn't want to write it while I was mad. Well, yes, I'm still pissed. However, it's starting to become a little amusing. I'm starting to laugh at myself, because I'm changing my life because of a stupid car alarm. I'm beginning to think that I'm psychologically changing to expect it to go off, so I'm not sleeping as deep as I should, and I'm holding myself back. Also, I'm not dreaming because of it, and that's killing me!

Anyway, my day didn't get much better yesterday. As a whole, it sucked. It was one of the worst days for me ever, and, the worst part is, I let it be that way. My whole day was altered because of one event, and I should've done something to change my perspective during the day and turned the whole thing around. Instead, I stayed in the slump.

At lunchtime, I got one of my buddies from work to go to the one place downtown that should've made me smile. I'm sure some of you can guess. It's not quite a strip club, but close. Anyway, we went there fully expecting it to be "all you can eat Wednesday", but were informed very early that the event didn't start until 5 pm. So, Strike One! It just so happened that we had the least personable server at this establishment. Strike Two! First of all, she didn't bring us the necessary tools for our meal. Then, she never came around for refills. I had to grab one of the other servers to take care of those things for us. Finally, she put part of my friend's tab on mine, and knowingly brought it to us and a little too matter-of-factly said "Oh, I put this on your tab, but I can go back and change it." By that time I just said "Screw it! I'm not too concerned about 55 cents anyway. I just want to get out of here." Strike Three! You'rrrrre Out!!

As bad as my day was yesterday, I know it could've been worse. So, I put together a list of things that could've happened yesterday and made it a lot worse. Here it goes...

1. Cut my throat shaving with my electric razor.
2. Lose any teeth while brushing them.
3. Get hit by a car (while walking or driving).
4. Lose my job.
5. Get slapped by a server at lunchtime.
6. Have to work through lunch.
7. Have to start the "project" all over again.
8. Have to jump from a burning building.
9. Stay late at work.
10. Have to sleep on the couch and not get to snuggle in bed with my honey.

You have to actually say "I'm glad I didn't..." before each number for them to really make sense. Well, I did anyway.

Okay, I'm not letting today be as bad as yesterday. I think I've got all of the bad karma out and I'm only taking in the good stuff from here on out. So, here is your "Rule" update for today, and have a great one!

Before I get into my rant today, and it's going to be a good one, I just wanted to focus on something much nicer. Today's "Rule" is a good one that I really want everyone to know about. So, check it out HERE!

Okay, I'm not having a good day so far and it all relates back to one single individual asshole. This guy (even though he probably doesn't even know it) has single-handedly started three quarters of my days during the last few weeks off on the wrong foot. See, here's how it goes down...

I'm guessing this jackhole got a new car (it's an early 2000's Chevy Impala, complete with plastic hubcaps) and decided with all of the break-ins that he'd get an alarm put on his pimpin' assed ride (actually it's as plain and ugly as can get). Well, sometime during the installation of his car alarm (which is the exact same as mine) they forgot to set up the sensitivity.

So, this piece of shit goes off anytime someone gets within two feet of his automobile. It goes off if there's a thunderclap. It goes off if someone farts into the wind. You get the point that it goes off non-stop, around the clock. Sometimes I don't hear it. More often than not, though, it wakes me out of my very light slumber.

Today, it just so happened to do it three times (5:05 am, 6:30 am, and lastly at 7:02 am). Now, I don't usually get out of bed until 7:20 am, but by the third time this thing woke me up, I was so pissed off that I couldn't go to back to sleep, even if I wanted to.

To rub salt in the wound, this jerky actually set the stupid thing off himself (which was the third time). The only reason I know this is because the alarm will chirp three times when you unset it to unlock the doors (if it's been set off). Well, the second the alarm went off the third time, he hit the unlock button and the thing started chirping. I'm almost wishing I would've heard matching gunshots after the chirping. However, I wouldn't be here typing this up this morning, I'd be down at 201 Poplar (the jail) standing in front of a judge. That probably wouldn't be good for my new marriage.

So, today I'm taking it on myself, for my sanity, to compose a polite letter to let this guy know that his car alarm is disturbing the peace. I'm not sure that it'll do anything, but I have to try. I'm going to try to leave emotions out of it (even though that's really hard, since I'm emotionally invested in getting some sleep). Adrianne suggested that I not call him a "shithead" too. So, I'm going to try to do that. If anyone has any suggestions, please, please leave me some comments. I'm on my last nerve about this. Maybe this is actually why I'm losing my sanity?

Now, just to make my day even more brighter... As I was walking to work this morning there was a bum hanging out at the end of our alley. He's one of the guys that I see down here all the time, and I recognize him because he's in a wheelchair and is missing one of his legs. I've actually given him some change a few times.

Now, just to piss me off... He's eating a fuckin' ice cream that he got from Walgreen's. Yeah, that $1.49 couldn't have been used for some real food!! He could've bought a loaf of bread for that much money and eaten for a week almost. I guess I have to look at it this way... At least he wasn't sippin' on a forty or some Thunderbird at 7:50 in the morning.

I've had enough of this day already. F&ck it! I'm out!

Sometimes I do feel this way, and I'm way too young to be losing my mind. However, yesterday as I was leaving work I thought to myself "Did I post this morning? What did I do today?"

My entire day was a blur. Maybe it was because, once again, I was busy during every hour between when I got here and when I left. I don't know, but I hate to think that I can't remember the simple things that I do every day.

My wife brought me home a present yesterday that fit perfectly with the new crack I have. She bought me a college football preview magazine. Usually by this time of the year I've already collected three or more of them, but she gave me my first! Really, folks, she is the best!

Now, onto my new crack... I got NCAA Football 2007 the other day. I held off playing it all weekend and you don't know how hard that is, just seeing it sitting in the floor right in front of you beckoning you "Oh! You know you want to open me up and play me. Ooh! Just press the big circle and insert me in the machine. Yeah... That's sooooo good! Don't stop! Press 'A'! Now 'X'! Harder! Harder! No! Don't stop! I don't care if your wife just got home!!"

Whoa! What just happened? I kind of blacked out for a moment. Anyway, I held off on playing it all weekend, just to spare Adrianne the agony of watching me revert to being 8 years old. She already has to deal with the 15 year old version of me on a daily basis. I cranked it up yesterday while I was home for lunch, and, let's just say, my lunch ran a little longer than usual.

Really, it happens... I'm a video game junkie. I admit it. I could've stayed up all night last night playing and not thought anything about it. Adrianne went to bed without me, which will probably happen for a while, until I finish my first season. So far, I'm two games in and am 2-0. No, I'm not going to start blogging every day about my exploits on a video game!

Anyway, I've lost a little more of my mind this morning, so what I've tried to do is document it here and on "The Rules of Thumb". I hope someone enjoys watching me lose my mind?

You all know how exciting it is going up and down the steep slopes of a rollercoaster, right? Well, imagine the exact thing, except when you're trying to sleep.

That was my night last night. I don't know what it is about me, sleep, and Sunday nights, but the three things do not work together. For some reason, I'd sleep like a rock for a little while, then wake up, then sleep a little while longer, then wake up again. This went on all night long. As you can guess, this takes a toll on the person trying to sleep. However, I did drag my carcass out of bed at 7:20 this morning and was at work on time!

Now, I'm not in much shape to do work, but my body is here, and that's what the boss's want, so I'm meeting their requirements, and that's good enough for me!

Actually, I will be doing some work today. Well, I'm planning on it anyway. I didn't do much on Friday, by my own admission, but I know how much we need to accomplish, and how quickly, so there won't be a lot of hanging out time.

I updated the "Rules" this morning, and it is directly associated to the only dream I can remember from last night. In my dream I was dreaming that I was the only person at work. I was here in the office, and everyone else's lights were off. I started thinking to myself "Why am I here? If no one else showed up, then do I really need to be here?"

So, I woke out of that dream and was thinking I don't want to go to work today. I'll just go drive around and see what's going on in Memphis during the day. So, I end up somewhere up in North Memphis at a store like TJ Maxx, at 8:20 in the morning. For some reason they are open, but I'm thinking "really, should I just go to work?" I call our assistant here and tell her to tell the bosses that I won't be in today, but, somehow, instead of talking on the phone I'm standing at her desk, and her desk isn't in our office any more. It's sitting outside someplace where it's sunny and beautiful. My boss wasn't supposed to come into work today, so I'm just telling her to lie to everyone else that I'm sick or something, and I tell her that it's because I had a dream about work and that it wouldn't go well today because of the dream. Some people call things like that an "omen".

Anyway, I'm getting ready to head back home from talking to her and my boss walks across the street, into another place, but looks directly at both of us. "Well, I guess that kills me going back home now. Doesn't it?"

Yeah, then I woke up. No, the first thing that popped into my head wasn't "Man, I don't want to go to work today!" That's a big surprise, even to me. Usually, when I have dreams about work it usually is telling me that I'm thinking about work too much and need a break. Now, however, I know I should've heeded the "omen" of my dream, because I've already got a splitting headache that's been reserved for afternoons here lately. Well, I guess I'd better go earn this punishment!!

Yes, we finally got a break in the heat down here! It seems like it's been 6 months since the last time it wasn't 90 degrees at 8 in the morning. Well, this morning is was comfortably in the 70's, but it was raining at the same time. That's alright though, because the concrete downtown was needing some moisture!

We actually got pretty lucky last night. Adrianne and I went up to the rooftop to grill some burgers and eat, and it looked like it was going to pour on us at any time. However, we never got a drop while we were up there. We did, however, get one hell of a lightening show. We stayed up there long after we had finished our meal and cocktails just to watch the lightening that was to the east and south of us. It was awesome. There were some strikes that were hitting the ground, but most were upper atmospheric strikes, that branched out like spider webs. I love that kind of stuff.

Actually, I've kind of liked storms since I was a little kid. When we lived in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, every time there was a big storm my Mom, Dad, Sis, and I would crawl into our walk-in pantry and wait it out. I was always fast asleep on my Mom's lap, so I guess storms have always reminded me of that comfortable position, thus I'm not scared of them like a lot of people are.

Just to show you how relaxed I am during storms... In 2001 there was a tornado that ripped through Owensboro. I was still working at a bank downtown and they ordered all of us to report to the lobby and get into the big vault. I, however, went outside to watch the event instead. Some call that stupidity. I call it curiosity. Actually, I tried to walk into the vault but there were already people screaming and crying, and I know I would've ended up killing someone had I stayed there. So, there were two reasons!

Anyway, I was talking about the heat wave finally breaking...

I know I'm happy about it, in more ways that one. I don't mind too much being hot. I'd rather be hot than cold, any day. However, when my bank account starts crying about paying electric bills over $100, then it's time for a change. The first month after our honeymoon our bill was about $60, which was up from the $45 that I'm used to. The next month it had climbed up to $80, but still I did nothing to change my habits. I also thought that it was because we had been having a lot of visitors on the weekend, thus more usage. Then, last month, I got a bill for $110!

That was it! Adrianne called MLG&W and asked what was going on. They gave us some helpful hints. First off, we turned our thermostat from 74 to 78, and kicked off the fan that was running nonstop. Yeah, that made a difference.

Instead of sleeping comfortably every night, both of us are pushing each other away because we're sweaty and sticky. Beautiful! Ceiling fans can only do so much, and it really sucked because the A/C was never kicking on!

That's a whole other story though. The reason our A/C never kicks on is because of the placement of the thermostat. Instead of being back in the hottest part of the apartment, where it would actually know how hot it is, it's up by the front door, where it's nice and dark and cool. The reason it's so cool up there is because the hallway outside is kept at a comfortable 60 degrees, year-round.

Oh well! It was nice this morning! I almost wanted to pull the comforter back up on me and snuggle in for a long winter's nap. However, we're in the dog days of summer now, and I had to get up and go to work. I'm just kind of hoping that the cool temperatures stay through the weekend, so I can sleep a little longer and "catch up" on some rest. I know Adrianne needs it too!

Lastly, I updated the "RULES". For those of you who have actually read my gibberish for a while you'll recognize it from some of my past "issues". I still don't like "dem biatches", but I have to bite my tongue, since they outrank me!

"When will I finally get the time to slam away on my keyboard and make a post?"

I asked myself this question around 12:40 pm today. It seems like I had been at my desk, working, since I got here at 8 am this morning, and there hadn't been a free moment to even think about blogging.

I've read recently that there is supposedly a Memphis Blogger gathering or two this week. There's supposedly one tonight and one on Sunday. I don't really know if I'm a part of the Memphis Blogging community, since, really, no one in Memphis even reads what I write (besides my wife). Also, it's at a bar/deli in Midtown, and I rarely go there. I'm a downtown person myself. I prefer to walk wherever I want to go drinking. I know if I attended either of these gatherings I'd probably have to have a few drinks. So, I probably won't be getting together with my fellow bloggers here in Memphis. I suppose that would make me a Rogue Memphis Blogger?

Anyway, I'm swamped again today. I'm trying to get all of our assignments in order and to the people that need to do them. Yes, it's nice to be all-powerful, but sucks that I can't really wield that power and say "You! You do my bidding!" Instead, I say things like "Here's what I got? If you can't take care of it, let me know and I'll take care of it."

Anyway, I gotta get back to work! I've still got assignments to do for two more people, and then myself. Yes, even the person in charge has to do work. Now that sucks!

Of course, I updated the "RULES" today. Check it out!

The last couple of days have been a blur. I've been swamped at work, even more so than I really should be. I'm working on my project, while training one of our newbies, and getting things in order for one of our independent contractors. I know, it doesn't sound like much, but I feel like I've been put on "the rack" and have been pulled in multiple directions.

To make matters worse, I'm exhausted when I get home. Last night I was supposed to head down to the South Main Association's monthly meeting. Well, it was almost six when I got home, and I had a splitting headache. All I wanted to do was have a beer and lay on the couch with my eyes closed. So, guess which I did?

If you said changed clothes and went to the meeting, then you are dead wrong, and don't know me at all! Adrianne didn't get home until eight last night, and we barely had a little dinner. I was even too tired to make us a real meal. Hopefully, tonight, I'll feel like being a good husband and preparing her a plethora of delightful delicacies. I might have to take a nap while I'm home at lunch though!

Neither one of us could fall asleep last night. Adrianne was just uncomfortable and I was a little tweaked after finding a spider crawling on me as I was originally falling asleep. I'm not afraid of spiders at all, but I don't like things crawling on me when I'm at my most vulnerable either. So, I was just kind of laying there with my skin crawling, thinking about what those creepy critters could be up to next. Finally, I got up and put on some classical music, Gustav Holst's "The Planets", and fell asleep. It was probably midnight by then. I did get up on time this morning though, but was somehow still a little late. I think it was only five minutes though, so that's not too bad.

I posted the "RULE" of the day a little earlier, and went back and read through some of my posts from July. It's amazing that I completely forget about things that I've written less than a month ago. Am I losing my mind?

My time is very valuable today. So, I'm taking a few minutes of my lunch break to document my life findings of today.

First of all, I updated the "Rules". Today's isn't quite as good as yesterday's, but it still holds true.

I had some crazy dreams last night. Actually, I think all of them were related, so that would make it one crazy dream. The jest of the dream was that I was the leader of a group that was involved in a huge heist of some sort. My friend, Justin, was also involved, as was my Grandfather, which was really weird. One of the parts I really remember was messing some people up pretty bad, which isn't me at all. I'm not a proponent for violence in any way. I also remember Justin calling his friend Kevin and telling him, "You know how we set it up that if I had to disappear? Well, that time has come. So take care of everything." Then, my Grandfather was helping me set up a bomb of some sort, but I woke up before we got that squared away.

I've been following "Rules" today, as has one of our new hires. We've been working pretty much nonstop since I got here this morning. It just so happened that I was late, again. Today was a little worse than usual though. I was ready to leave at five 'til eight this morning, but my pineapple juice didn't want to play the "let's do this the easy way" game, and decided to spill out all over the place, thus forcing me to clean up the mess right away. Before I knew it, it was 8:15 and I was saying "Shit! I gotta go!" I guess it's a good thing that my office (cube to be exact) is on the opposite end of the floor than my bosses.

We've made a lot of headway on some reviews though, so all of the work has been good so far. I've got a ton of other stuff to be working on. I have to do this training, though, too, so I decided it's better to do it now, than wait for later, when it's crunch time!

Speaking of "crunch time"... Football season starts up soon. I'm in a NFL Fantasy league, but I've yet to check anything out. I just haven't found the time. I don't even know if we've already had our draft, but, if we have, I might be in trouble. I guess I'll need to check on that sometime soon. I've forgotten my username and password, so I can't do it at home. It automatically logs me in here at work, so I "have" to do it here, I guess. Aren't "cookies" great?

Today is the big day! My beautiful wife started her career, officially, this morning. By now, she's well into the day, and I'm sure she's doing great! I am very proud of her, and that's the truth. One of the stipulations of our getting married was that she'd get her education. She checked that off last December. I never made any stipulations that she had to have a job, but she wanted to (I think). I think she'll be a great teacher. First off, she loves kids, all of them; even the bad ones, really! Secondly, she loves school. Well, at least being in school and school supplies. All she needed was a reason to be around both all day. Of course, this may all change after a little while of running a classroom, but I doubt it.

I had a crazy dream this morning. I was dreaming that I couldn't wake up. I needed to wake up so that I could tell Adrianne something before she left. In my dream I was yelling at myself to wake up, but it did nothing. I was punching and slapping myself, hoping that would work, but it didn't. Somehow I ended up walking into the bathroom where she was getting ready and telling her "Honey, come wake me up! I can't wake up! Right now I'm sleeping and dreaming about talking to you, so I need you to wake me out of it!". She just looked at me like I'm crazy and told me to leave her alone.

I finally snapped out of my dream when I stopped breathing for a moment. Yeah, that was a lot of fun!

We didn't do too much this weekend. It was hot, hot, hot down here, and really didn't make you want to be outside too much. Also, it was Tennessee Tax Holiday weekend, so all of the shopping centers were nuts. We steered clear of them until yesterday, and they weren't all that bad.

We spent most of Saturday putting the finishing touches on Adrianne's classroom. I hadn't seen it yet, and I never saw the beginning product (well, I did in pictures), but she did an awesome job with the place! I did a couple little things here and there to help her out, but not too much. She put a lot of hard work into making her classroom look great!

Alright, well, I gotta get back to the grind. I've got people waiting on me to show them how to do things. Yeah, it's a riot being a teacher!

By the way, here is my latest installment of "RULES OF THUMB". I know it get old me posting about it on this blog, but Adrianne told me, otherwise, that she'd never find it, so you can blame (or thank) her for that one. I always forget to post it to, and have to come back and edit later on!

I'll start off with the good stuff first. I added another "Rule" this morning. It's actually one of my favorites, so check it out!

Usually when someone has a rough night it's because they had some problems before they went to bed or they just didn't sleep well for some reason. Well, I had ZERO problems before I went to bed. In fact, I went to bed in a great mood. I also had no problem sleeping. I slept like a rock. However, while I was sleeping was a different story.

I started out this blog to keep a running journal of my dreams. I've kind of fallen out of that mode lately, and it's not been because I haven't been dreaming, but I haven't been writing them down or remembering them, so I just write about other things.

Well, I remember all of my dreams from last night, and most were not very pleasant, so this entry may get a little long today (it just depends on how much I really go into the dreams). I've decided against trying to break down the dreams, just because of the content and the events. So, here we go, again...

Dream #1: Adrianne and I have bought our first house. We spend all day trying to get things in the house, but nothing is in any order. For some reason our bedroom is in the basement, and our mattress is on the floor. We go to bed, but I've got a feeling about something. Before I fall asleep I think about some of the things I find in the house while I was cleaning it earlier that day. There was an old refrigerator in our bedroom and in it were a set of false teeth. Of course, I tossed them out, as well as the refrigerator.

I go through a mental checklist of things I needed to do before I went to bed, and it included locking the house up for the night. Or so I though. After I fall asleep (and just like in real life, I don't sleep very heavy) I hear our door open up, and know that someone else is in the room with us. I can't really move or open my eyes up all the way, but I reach my arm up and grab the throat of our intruder. Under the saggy flesh I feel a hard metal object, like a trachea tube, so I let go. I battle my eyes open and I can see a slumping figure with white hair.

I try to talk to the person, but it's difficult. I'm barely able to murmur "Wha... What... What do you..." I'm trying to ask what the person wants, but it just won't come out. Next, I feel the person sit down next to me and put their arm around behind my neck. I can hear Adrianne whispering "Say what you are trying to say."

I finally get it all out. "What do you want?" The person grabs my hand and puts it to their mouth, letting me feel the two teeth they have left. I say very lowly "teeth", then a little louder "teeth", and finally loud enough to wake myself up "TEETH!"

I actually said the last one out loud, because it woke Adrianne up too. She was laughing at me by this time, so I had to tell her about my dream. She had also just woken out of a dream, but I don't remember hers.

Dream #2: Bow-chicka-wow-wow! That's all you get to know about this dream!

Dream #3: This is one of the most disturbing dreams I've had in a very long time, and I hope it doesn't happen again for years!

I'm not sure how we got there, but Adrianne and I are sitting on a couch in some fictional house with yellow wallpaper that has little red flowers on it. The couch is an off-white color with a floral pattern on it. Obviously not something we'd own, so I'm assuming this wasn't our home.

Anyway, somehow a single bullet comes through one of the windows and hits Adrianne in the back. It doesn't kill her immediately, but she dies shortly thereafter, in my arms. In between the bullet hitting her and her dying, I have flashbacks of all of the wonderful times we've had together. It's a blur but I recognize bits and pieces. Our wedding was in there.

I have no recollection of a funeral, but the next thing I know I am walking through a field where I can see some flowers. They remind me of her and I want to take some pictures of them. Every time I approach them, they die. Somehow I'm in that house again, and when I get there I see a vase of beautiful flowers sitting on a window sill. As I approach them they wither and die.

I wake up crying.

That, I hate. I have no control over the complex emotions brought forth by my dreams, and they are hard to deal with in waking life. I can deal with them when they are presented while I'm conscious, but being unconscious is another story.

Adrianne's alarm clock went off just a moment or two after I woke up. She asked me if it was alright if she snoozed a little bit. I said "sure" and grabbed her and brought her closer to me. I was actually afraid she wasn't there with me. As though something actually happened to her as I laid there.

I whimpered to her... "I'm sad."

She asked "why?"

"I had a bad dream." It was like I was a kid all over again and telling my Mommy about a monster under my bed or something.

"Tell me, it's okay." She says.

"You died. I lost you." Tears flowing stronger as I eek it out.

Okay, I don't want to talk about it anymore today. Hopefully I'll get a chance to come back later and have a nice story to tell, because I don't like ending my entries on a sad note, because that's just not me. I'm too happy-go-lucky and like it that way.

Okay, so yesterday I got hooked on this new form of crack. It's called Blog$hares. It's kind of like the stock market, but with blogs. Really, I just got started with it because I found out my blog was listed there and I was the 10th ranked blog in the "Memphis" industry (out of 31), and I wanted to find out how to be like George Jefferson, and "Move on up!"

I also spent all day waiting for the information, which I didn't get until this morning. It actually took my bosses boss making a phone call to get the person to get the info to me. I guess I was on the backburner, until upper-management stepped in. Yes, my ego is officially deflated now!

Actually it's not. I have too much work to do to really think about that whole situation anymore. I've got to dump all of the info into our database and then extract the stuff I need, clean it up, and compile my list again. Yes, it's sooooooooooo exciting!

I had another grand idea for my "Rules of Thumb" last night. Why it hit me when I was just on the brink of sleep is beyond me. Actually that's when most of my good ideas come to me. The only problem is that I rarely take the time to get up and write them down. Last night I did! Yippee!

Speaking of sleepy time... I discovered a new creature in my bed last night. Usually I just have a "Snuggler" in there with me, which isn't very obtrusive, but last night this rare animal showed up. I like to call it the "Diagonal Sleeping Snuggle Bear", or DSSB for short. The DSSB is rare in that it finds a way to completely cover from one corner to opposite corner, an entire King-sized bed, and push any other occupants into an uncomfortable sleeping position (commonly known as "Anywhere you can find room"). Here's hoping that this animal doesn't show up very often, because your's truly has a really, really stiff neck this morning.

You'd think by now that I'd get over being pissed off by other employees with my company, but I haven't. I discovered yesterday that the person who sends me the database information I'm using for my big project sent me the wrong information. He was supposed to send me information as of 6/30, but repeated the prior month and sent me 5/31. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you're dealing with sifting through nearly 7,000 accounts, it is. Now, whenever he sends me the correct information, I have to go through and do all of the things that I had been working on for the last two weeks, again. Yeah, it's loads of fun!

On a positive note... My honey surprised me with a great present yesterday. She's always too good to me, and always brings my spirits up! I know getting a movie isn't a big deal to some, but she got me a movie that she told me I wasn't going to get, unless someone got it for me as a present. I was already in the process of setting up a deal to get one of my coworkers to buy it for me as a gift, and then, in return, I would buy her lunch one day. At least that was the plan. I'm glad Adrianne got it for me instead, because it means a lot more coming from her!

We went and tried a new restaurant down here yesterday. To say it's "interesting" would be an understatement. The principal of the place is relatively simple. It's a hot dog parlor. They have all kinds of hot dogs, and the prices are really cheap. I got a chili cheese hot dog with chips (and they had baked Doritos) and a drink for less than four bucks! Here's the kicker... The name of the place is... DAWGIE STYLE!

Yes, "Dawgie Style"!

Let me give you a little sample of the menu items too, just to whet your appetite...

Mr. Dawgie Style $5.50 And you think size doesn't matter? This 13 inch Vienna Beef Dog served with your choice of toppings on a grilled sub bun will please any and all persons the Dawgie Style way.

The Sexy Dog $3.25 Served on a traditional or poppy seed bun, oozing with sour cream, tomato slices, shredded cheese, and one sports pepper, just to add some heat, and absolutely no onions.

Here's one of the last things on the menu:

You have entered the Dawgie Style position. So, now you have to choose... You can fix your specialty dog any way you like it. That's why we call it Dawgie Style, because you can do it your way.

Did I mention my hot dog was super tasty too? The smooth music in the joint was a little too romantic for three coworkers (two males and a female), but the place sure did put a smile on our faces!

Oh yeah, another update to the "Rules of Thumb".

There's nothing like taking a long weekend. Really! Usually our weekends end up being two days of driving and one day of running around trying to do everything and see everyone. Well, this weekend we actually got a little time to relax and do things we like to do.

I actually went golfing on Saturday with Adrianne's stepdad and his youngest son. After traveling to the middle of nowhere, we ended at Falls of Rough, Kentucky. If you know where it is, then I'm sorry. If you don't, then don't worry about looking it up or anything, it's not really worth your while. The golf course is pretty nice there though. The only problem is the price. I'm pretty sure that $48 for almost any course in Kentucky is a little pricy. We found out that every other day of the week the price is only $25, which is about right. It's a good thing we had a good time, otherwise I probably would've been pissed! As usual, I shot really, really poorly on the front 9, but my game started to come around on the back nine. My co-golfers did the exact opposite. They both shot pretty well on the front nice, but faded on the back nine. When you only place once or twice a year, it takes a little while to get used to what you are doing again. At least I got a nice blister on my heel for my troubles!

I spent most of Sunday with a splitting headache. Everyone kept telling me it was a hangover, but I knew it wasn't. I didn't even think it could've been from being dehydrated, because I was chugging water all day (both Saturday and Sunday). We finally decided that it was a touch of heat exhaustion, so I slept quite a bit that day. Adrianne went to a wedding shower and did some shopping with her Mom.

Speaking of the love of my life... Today is the big day! She "officially" started her career today. The kids don't report until next Monday, but she starts getting paid for being a teacher starting today, even though she'll just be in meetings and seeing new faces all day. Tomorrow she's got registration and "meet and greets" with the parents. Finally all of the stress and excitement has come to fruition.

As for me? I'm back at work, and trying to get back into the swing of things. I've got plenty of things to do, yet it's very hard to really start looking at anything. Truthfully, I could've probably taken another day or two off, just to keep the good times rollin'.

I've updated my "Rules of Thumb" this morning. I even added a second one today, since I was off yesterday and didn't put anything down. I wrote down one on Friday, which was the first post of the day, and another one has been rattling in my head since Sunday night, so that's the second one for the day. I've already got another "Rule" in my head, but I'm going to try to wait until tomorrow. I don't want to waste all of my good ideas. It's something that just bothers the shit out of me, and Adrianne thinks I'm an idiot for. Wait! That could be tons of things. I'd better start writing them down!