THE DAILY DIVERSION

Yesterday I spoke out about my dislike for some music genres. Today, I'm in a complete different zone. Today, the ilk of "Reality TV" has drawn my ire.

First and foremost, any show that actually calls itself "Reality TV" is not television about reality. The one and only "Reality TV" program ever created is "COPS". There are no judges. The audience doesn't have a say in the outcome of the program. You just get what the officers get. Sometimes someone goes to jail. Sometimes they go away in a bodybag. Sometimes they just go back home.

The only thing "Reality TV" actually is, is staged. It is staged for "drama". They want you to think that what's going on is real. The people there may not be actors, but they're playing their part. They're getting their 15 minutes of fame, and will do whatever they can to sustain it for longer. Why do you think there have been "wedding night" porno video's for half of the "cast" of Survivor?

Speaking of Survivor... Yes, I'll start with this true piece of shit. Actually, all I really want to say about it is this... There is no way in hell that a gay marketing exec out "survives" the most decorated and "grizzled" Navy Seal, ever. Period. Rudy (the SEAL) in "real" life would've ripped that douchebag's head off and shit down his neck, then tossed his rotting carcass into the ocean for the sea turtles to snack on. Well, maybe that's how I see "reality" anyway.

Most of the people they put on this show couldn't last 15 minutes stranded on a deserted island. They'd go crazy and start chewing on their toes or something, then end up wandering out into the sea and drown. Again, becoming fish food. Hell, these people probably couldn't survive being stranded at a Motel 6 in Las Vegas, with $10,000 in their pockets. Most of them are just complete idiots. I'm sick of "Survivor"!

Now, on to "The Real World"... Okay, I'll admit it... I watched the first season or two. I watched it to see who was going to get killed. It almost happened too, and it's just too bad it didn't happen, because if it would've, we wouldn't be subjected to all of the "reality" shit that is on the air now. All it really takes is one person dying on a "reality" show and the entire genre will die with it. Man, that can't happen soon enough!

As for "The Real World"... This is the only place that would try to mesh the following: militant black man, hippie slob, Gay man and/or lesbian, wanna-be porno actress, midwestern female with ZERO common sense, and a Redneck. All I can say is... WHY?

Why would you want to put all of these ingredients into a pot? You don't put a sleeping bag full of rattlesnakes, a grizzly bear, a porcupine, a skunk, a mongoose, a great white shark, and a velociraptor in a 1977 Volkswagen Bus and expect it to be a party, do you? Sure, hop on in there and have a ball.

There's nothing real about this. These people, no matter how nice they really are, would never go out of their way to befriend each other. Not even for 5 minutes. EVER!

Lastly, and this might be the most evil thing ever... American Idol. Really, these people have to be delusional, right? Who all has won so far? Their careers have been how long again? If I even though of trying out to get on the show I would think about two things: The woman who got thrown off for making a porno several years ago, and the Asian dude who was ridiculed mercilessly.

First off, I've done some shit in my day. The last thing I want is the entire world to know about it, strictly because I was on TV for 3 minutes, singing a Boy George song (that's the song assigned to me, not my preference). Secondly, it's just wrong. I make fun of people all the time, yet I kind of keep it low profile. This guy had the balls to get up there and give it everything he had. What did he get in return? I don't have to tell you, because you know.

However, he did end up being 1,000 more known about than the person who actually won the show, so it can't be all that bad. Personally, I prefer to be made fun of at a much lower level, than national TV. Yeah, "She Bangs".

I was so done with "reality" TV when it first started up. I still love "COPS" though.