THE DAILY DIVERSION

(Note: I started this post last night, when I got in from work. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to finish talking about my dream, so it got bumped to getting finished today.)

I'd really like to know that myself, then maybe I could've eradicated that song from my head this morning. Unfortunately, the way I usually do it is by just listening to the song and "POOF" it's gone. Well, I don't own the song or album and I'm not paying $1 to download it from Itunes for 3 minutes. I just sucked it up and rocked out at work for a bit.

Anyway, I had the wackiest dream last night. I recorded it a little different than my old-school style of trying to write down everything I could remember. A couple of weeks ago I found a voice recorder App on Itunes for my Iphone. I haven't really used it up to this point, but I will going forward. I got it because I had been in the car a few times with some great ideas banging around in my head but no way to capture them. I can't remember things as well as I used to.

So, when I wake up from my dream I immediately grab my phone, kick on the recorder and start telling the story. Here's what I got...

I'm at our first house in Bowling Green, over on Catalina Dr. Mom is divorced, but has the house and all of the stuff in it. For some reason she's out of town for a week, so I'm staying there. I've got the room at the stop of the stairs on the left (my actual room when we lived there).

I wake up really early one morning, before the sun is up, and notice the front door standing open. This isn't a big deal, but then I notice the glass storm door is also open about a foot or so. This is when I know something is wrong. I head back into my bedroom and find my big maglite and head downstairs.

As I reach the bottom of the stairs, there's a closet that been ransacked and a couple of rifle's are laying out. There's also another flashlight like the one I have in my hand, so I grab it.

I start looking around the house and saying "Okay, I know you're in here. I don't want any trouble and I know you don't want any, so just go out the back door or something." I walk into the living room and the big TV is gone, as well as pretty much everything else. This is where I run into the skinny little guy.

He tries to run from me, but I catch him and throw him to the ground. For some reason he isn't wearing a shirt and I whack him in the ribs a few times with the flashlight, all while saying "I have to do this, it's self defense!".

While I'm holding him down I keep trying to call the police with my cell phone, but every time it goes straight to someone's voicemail. The very first time is actually goes to Daultry Grave's voicemail (we went to high school together, damn you Facebook!).

By this point I'm getting pissed that I can't get in touch with the police, so I head over to someone's house who has a land line. It just so happens it ends up being my in-laws, but not at the house they really own. They're in some little one bedroom shack. I come in and I'm roughing up the guy that was in my house. I throw him over in the corner and just berate the shit out of him. "Don't even think about fucking getting up or saying anything!" I yell at him.

My in-laws are just in shock that I'm talking to anyone that way. Then my Mom shows up. She's asking me what's going on and I try to explain that he was robbing the house, until a really pale woman comes in with long, wavy red hair. Somehow she's connected with the other guy. I start to interrogate her as well. She says that she sold all of the stuff to some place with a really long name. I say "So, basically, that's a code word for pawn shop?" and she nods her head yes.

I tell her that she's an accomplice to this whole thing and that she's going to jail too. She just say's "So what?"

The guy in the corner is trying to stand up and I kick him once saying "Sit your ass down or I'll kick the shit outta you!"

Mom doesn't like this at all and tells me I need to let them go and that she doesn't care about what they did. At this point I'm beyond pissed, so I say "What is wrong with you all? I'm pissed here because Mom has never had anything and I bought most of this stuff for her, because I wanted her to have nice things. Now, you don't care! They have no remorse for doing it, and I'm the only one that gives a shit!"

Everyone gets up and starts filing out the front door. The two criminals are walking out last, right in front of me, as I'm trying to gather up something. I yell out "Somebody needs to hold on to them so they don't run away!" but no one does.

They all leave and I'm standing there, still pissed off!