THE DAILY DIVERSION

I'll start off with the good stuff first. I added another "Rule" this morning. It's actually one of my favorites, so check it out!

Usually when someone has a rough night it's because they had some problems before they went to bed or they just didn't sleep well for some reason. Well, I had ZERO problems before I went to bed. In fact, I went to bed in a great mood. I also had no problem sleeping. I slept like a rock. However, while I was sleeping was a different story.

I started out this blog to keep a running journal of my dreams. I've kind of fallen out of that mode lately, and it's not been because I haven't been dreaming, but I haven't been writing them down or remembering them, so I just write about other things.

Well, I remember all of my dreams from last night, and most were not very pleasant, so this entry may get a little long today (it just depends on how much I really go into the dreams). I've decided against trying to break down the dreams, just because of the content and the events. So, here we go, again...

Dream #1: Adrianne and I have bought our first house. We spend all day trying to get things in the house, but nothing is in any order. For some reason our bedroom is in the basement, and our mattress is on the floor. We go to bed, but I've got a feeling about something. Before I fall asleep I think about some of the things I find in the house while I was cleaning it earlier that day. There was an old refrigerator in our bedroom and in it were a set of false teeth. Of course, I tossed them out, as well as the refrigerator.

I go through a mental checklist of things I needed to do before I went to bed, and it included locking the house up for the night. Or so I though. After I fall asleep (and just like in real life, I don't sleep very heavy) I hear our door open up, and know that someone else is in the room with us. I can't really move or open my eyes up all the way, but I reach my arm up and grab the throat of our intruder. Under the saggy flesh I feel a hard metal object, like a trachea tube, so I let go. I battle my eyes open and I can see a slumping figure with white hair.

I try to talk to the person, but it's difficult. I'm barely able to murmur "Wha... What... What do you..." I'm trying to ask what the person wants, but it just won't come out. Next, I feel the person sit down next to me and put their arm around behind my neck. I can hear Adrianne whispering "Say what you are trying to say."

I finally get it all out. "What do you want?" The person grabs my hand and puts it to their mouth, letting me feel the two teeth they have left. I say very lowly "teeth", then a little louder "teeth", and finally loud enough to wake myself up "TEETH!"

I actually said the last one out loud, because it woke Adrianne up too. She was laughing at me by this time, so I had to tell her about my dream. She had also just woken out of a dream, but I don't remember hers.

Dream #2: Bow-chicka-wow-wow! That's all you get to know about this dream!

Dream #3: This is one of the most disturbing dreams I've had in a very long time, and I hope it doesn't happen again for years!

I'm not sure how we got there, but Adrianne and I are sitting on a couch in some fictional house with yellow wallpaper that has little red flowers on it. The couch is an off-white color with a floral pattern on it. Obviously not something we'd own, so I'm assuming this wasn't our home.

Anyway, somehow a single bullet comes through one of the windows and hits Adrianne in the back. It doesn't kill her immediately, but she dies shortly thereafter, in my arms. In between the bullet hitting her and her dying, I have flashbacks of all of the wonderful times we've had together. It's a blur but I recognize bits and pieces. Our wedding was in there.

I have no recollection of a funeral, but the next thing I know I am walking through a field where I can see some flowers. They remind me of her and I want to take some pictures of them. Every time I approach them, they die. Somehow I'm in that house again, and when I get there I see a vase of beautiful flowers sitting on a window sill. As I approach them they wither and die.

I wake up crying.

That, I hate. I have no control over the complex emotions brought forth by my dreams, and they are hard to deal with in waking life. I can deal with them when they are presented while I'm conscious, but being unconscious is another story.

Adrianne's alarm clock went off just a moment or two after I woke up. She asked me if it was alright if she snoozed a little bit. I said "sure" and grabbed her and brought her closer to me. I was actually afraid she wasn't there with me. As though something actually happened to her as I laid there.

I whimpered to her... "I'm sad."

She asked "why?"

"I had a bad dream." It was like I was a kid all over again and telling my Mommy about a monster under my bed or something.

"Tell me, it's okay." She says.

"You died. I lost you." Tears flowing stronger as I eek it out.

Okay, I don't want to talk about it anymore today. Hopefully I'll get a chance to come back later and have a nice story to tell, because I don't like ending my entries on a sad note, because that's just not me. I'm too happy-go-lucky and like it that way.