THE DAILY DIVERSION

Well, it's hard to believe that it's been two months since I've posted anything. Believe me, it's not been because I haven't had anything to write about. I've had tons of stuff going on, but so little time to actually devote (while at work of course) to putting it all down.

The main reason why I'm breaking my silence is due to a couple of dreams I had last night. Well, actually, one was a nightmare and the other a dream. However, I guess I should try to play a little "catch-up" before I get into those, just to let everyone (if anyone is still checking this spot out) know what's been going on.

To start with, obviously, it's been busy at work. My time has actually been devoted to doing my job, which is a shame, because my talents could be used, much more prominently, elsewhere (like playing video games), but I digress.

My beautiful wife and I celebrated out 1st wedding anniversary back at the end of May. My wife is way too good to me, and, unfortunately, I think she knows that! She set up a weekend away where she got us tickets to my first ever professional soccer game (we went to Columbus, OH and watched the Columbus Crew versus Toronto FC). It was absolutely fantastic! I'll work on getting some pictures up, at some point in time.

Then, just last week, we went on vacation, back to our spot in Mexico. What a wonderful week! The only problem is that I had to come back to work this Monday, so that was kind of crappy!

Anyway, on to the good stuff...

Dream #1: Adrianne and I decide to host a huge New Year's Eve party at a concert hall. Tons of people show up early and it basically turns into a Frat party, meaning that they really wreck the joint. What winds up happening is Adrianne, our friend Harsh, and myself end up cleaning the place up and completely miss the striking of the midnight hour, marching in the New Year.

The most notable pieces to this dream are the fact that, for some reason, we had black cloth napkins, which people had strewn everywhere and that our personal towels were all over the place. The other notable thing is that the men's room didn't have an sit-down stalls, but just a wall with four small drains for urinating in. I bet you can't guess what caused me to wake up? It has something to do with the men's room.

Dream #2: (the nightmare) Well, it didn't really start out as a nightmare, it was more of a comedy. A friend and I were watching TV and as I was scrolling through the movie channels he noticed the movie "The Haunting" on and said he wanted to watch it. Well, it turns out that we became part of the movie, but not actually that movie.

Somehow, these three guys show up at our house (no I don't own a house, I know) and are trying to set these ghastly, ghoulish fiends free in our house. The ghosts are kind of following the three guys around, waiting for their chance to come to life. However, they aren't quite fully formed and can't become solid enough to actually do anything.

So, one of the guys goes into a bedroom to try to conjure the spirits to their full fruition (**inside joke! Just for you honey!). As he's working, one of the other guys is trying to get the ghosts to come through a sliding glass door (not an opened sliding glass door mind you, but still closed and actually forming through the glass itself), but just as they're pulling their heads through I keep punching them back outside. My buddy and I start making a game out of until the ghosts start actually fully forming, becoming harder and harder with each punch.

At this point I realize I have no clue where the third guy is, but I don't have time to worry about that, as I have to stop the guy who's conjuring the ghouls up. I kick through the door to find him chanting incoherently toward this small plant with pink flowers. While he's chanting I grab his head and spin it around, hopefully breaking his neck. I do some chanting of my own, hoping it ceases the gestation. Then, I grab the small plant and sprint out the back to dispose of it.

At first I just want to throw the thing in the dumpster, but I realize they could just get it out and continue their plot. So, I break all of the limbs off and pull the flowers from the limbs. I throw the hulk of the plant into the dumpster, put the flowers in my pocket, and carry the limbs back inside to the kitchen.

This is where things get bad. In the kitchen I find the third guy behind my wife with his arm around her neck (threatening, not in a loving manner) and with a meat cleaver in his other hand aimed at the top of my wife's head. I try to reason with him to let her go, but, instead, he pops her on top of the head with the cleaver once, knocking her unconscious.

I just absolutely lose it. I pounce (that's the best work I can possibly think of to describe my movement toward him) on the guy, wrestle the cleaver away from him and start smashing the hell out of his head. As soon as he's unconscious (which is a matter of seconds) I grab my wife in one arm and grab the phone to dial "911" with my free hand.

She's in and out of her daze, but can actually speak to me. Unfortunately, I can't make out anything she's saying though. However, it doesn't seem as though her cut is too deep, as she's not bleeding profusely, unlike the guy laying on the floor, in a pool of his own blood.

As I'm trying to get an ambulance and police officer on the phone the "911" service is going through what seems like an infomercial for something. I can't really make it all out, as I'm kicking the guy on the floor in the face every time he starts to move a little bit, and, I forgot to mention, I'm crying like a little girl!

So, there you have it! That's my first post in a while. I've been asked to post one of my presents to my wife for our anniversary, and I'll try to get around to that soon. I just don't want to do it on the same day as I had two dreams, especially when one is kind of a nightmare.