THE DAILY DIVERSION

Well, we have survived the first month of being married! It's all downhill from here, right? Actually, I'm surprised my beautiful wife hasn't killed me yet! I've lived by myself for the better part of, well, most of my life, so living with me can be quite tedious.

Sure, I had a sister and step-sisters, but I always had my own bedroom, and my own "personal space". I've always been able to do as I please, when I please. It's part of "being a man", or something like that.

I'm hoping to be married for another 750 months. Yes, that is sixty-two and a half years, or 22,813 days, which would put me at the ripe old age of ninety-three when I kiss this silly little planet goodbye. I don't know why that number came up, but it popped into my head and sounds good.

Thus far our trials and tribulations have been very small. Obviously she was worried about getting a job, but that's been handled. Oh, did I not mention that? She accepted a job offer from the Shelby County School System last Monday, after her first, and only, interview with the Principal. Yeah, I knew it would happen, and Honey... I told you so!

Anyway, she signs her "official" paperwork tomorrow morning. Then she'll officially be a contributing member of society. She kept telling me not to tell a bunch of people after she accepted the job, because she didn't feel like she had a job, but I said "Hogwash! (okay, maybe I didn't use that word, since I rarely do) If they offered you a job, and you accepted it, then you have a job. It's all just paperwork after that!" So, we're only about a month away from her starting her career. How fun is that?

Well, for me, starting my career sounded great. Riches! New cars! Big house! All that jazz! Now? Well, not so much. Don't get me wrong, because I don't mind working occasionally, really! I do enjoy collecting a paycheck and not living off my fellow taxpaying Americans. I do wish some others felt the same way though, but that's another story altogether.

However, if I were the boss, we'd have a little different schedule. I, sure as hell, wouldn't be here at 8 in the morning. Really, what gets done that early? Upper management never comes down at 8, on the dot, and says "Where's my such-and-such?" It just doesn't happen. They never schedule meetings that early, so they don't need things that early. If you notice, most meetings are scheduled around 10:30 or 11:00, just so they can end them to go to lunch. Otherwise they have them at 1 pm, so everyone has already had lunch. They also don't schedule meetings for 4 pm either. The latest you'll see a meeting, unless it's an absolute emergency (like the company is being sold), is at 3:30 pm.

If I had my way, our hours would be from 10 am to 2 pm, with a lunch break sandwiched in there (probably 30 to 45 minutes), and give employees a couple hour break (to take care of some things they need to take care of, like pick up the kids from school, go get their dry-cleaning, catch a little "afternoon delight", etc). Then everyone would come back from 4 pm to 7 or 8 pm, just depending on how much stuff we have to do.

I know this doesn't work for some people, because they are "morning people" or have other obligations in the evenings (church, kids, family, stripping). By the way, what exactly is a "morning person"? There's no way in hell anyone should be up that early, and be happy about it at that! Well, farmers are an exception I guess! That's why I'm not a farmer. I'm not built to get up before 9:30 am. That's why I'm pretty much worthless at work until 10 am. My bosses have even figured it out. They won't bring me anything notable to work on until at least that time, otherwise they don't know what the outcome will be.

Okay, so I've rambled on a little bit today. I have a tendency to do that. Somewhere in here I had a point. I just can't remember what it was. See! This is why I don't do much before 10 am!

On to something else... Adrianne and I had a funny conversation last night. A little background information to start with though... I have a duplicate of her old Kentucky driver's license (because she forgot it here once and got another one made when she got back home, and it was just easier for me to carry her DL when we go to bars and such) and she needed me to make a copy of her TN DL and some other paperwork for her "signing day" tomorrow, so we traded off for the day. Anyway, I put the two DL's next to each other and called her over.

"Honey, do you see something familiar here?"
"Huh?"
"Look at the two pictures. What do you see?"
"Oh, the head turn?"
"Yeah, what's that all about? You do it in every picture."
"That's what we were always told to do when taking school pictures, and I just got used to doing it, so I do it all the time. Don't you?"
"Umm... No."

It is spooky, because I've thought about all of the pictures I've taken of her over the nearly four years we've been together, and it's true. She almost always tilts her head toward her left shoulder. The wackiest thing about it is that her Mom does the same thing. I think it's genetic. I must've had a different school picture taker or something?

All of this gets me to thinking... Genetics are crazy things. Especially the little quirks. I don't know of a lot of things that I do that are like my parents, but I know of a couple. When I'm thinking hard I tend to scratch my head, and then smooth my hair down. Supposedly my Dad does the same thing (Adrianne verified this). My Mom, Sis, and I all have a freckle on the inside of one of our ankles. Mine is on the opposite foot than my Sis and Mom's though.

Adrianne and her Mom have the exact same smile when they don't want to smile. We call this the "fake smile". I have to coax Adrianne to smile, or just catch her off guard. Usually I just grab the camera when she's not looking, strip all of my clothes off, and yell out "Honey look!" That usually ends up being a funny picture. Most of the people around us, at those times, aren't too happy about it though!