THE DAILY DIVERSION

Adrianne and I had a pretty good weekend. Obviously it wasn't long enough, but I've complained about that enough before. I had forgotten how insanely boring the drive from here to Owensboro really is, but now my mind has been adequately refreshed. Hopefully next time we can go a different route to get up there. If I never see the William H. Natcher Tollway again, it would be too soon. It is, quite possibly, the longest, most boring 70 miles of asphalt ever created. I was okay driving on Friday night until I put those four pieces of rubber on it. I hadn't even cracked a yawn yet, prior to branching off of I-65 on to it. However, as soon as I did it was "sleepy time". Maybe just knowing that I have one more hour left just sends me to that special place that I don't want to go? I don't know, but we've got some traveling ahead of us in the next few months, so I'd better get used to it.

Okay, now on to a few sad facts...

1) Outside of my face and hands, barely any part of body has seen any sunshine since we were in Mexico (nearly a month ago now), until this weekend. This is really sad to me, because this is my existence. I live at work. I see every beautiful day through a window. I live my life on the beach vicariously through what I see on the television. It's a horrible way to live, but I guess being able to afford to live is a little more important, sometimes?

2) I can be a really, really grumpy (and I mean GRUMPY) bastard when I'm tired. Even more so after driving for five hours. I think I lose a little bit of my soul every time I do it? I just realized that I need to say "I'm sorry" to Adrianne about 95 times just to make up for what a shit I was being on Friday night when we finally reach our destination. As if stubbing both my big toe and pinky toe weren't punishment enough! So, I'm sorry! That's number one!

3) Prior to this weekend, I hadn't even had the thought of swimming, since we were in Mexico. I've seen at least a few bodies of water, namely the Mississippi River and a couple of ponds, but those don't really entice me to do any swimming. It was so nice to actually jump in the pool and splash around like a little girl! No, I wasn't wearing my Speedo! Which was much to the dismay of everyone else at the pool.

4) Both Adrianne and I thought that the one month anniversary of our wedding was on Wednesday (the 28th), when we both knew that we were married on May 27th. To make this fact even sadder, we were both kind of dreading the day, but, only because her Dad is supposed to come down and visit that day. Her relationship with her Dad isn't quite like mine with my Dad, but it has some similar qualities. I'm still up in the air on him visiting, but I think I actually like the idea. This way he can see the kind of life that his daughter is living, and maybe he'll understand some things. Who knows? This is another situation where only time will tell.

5) It's been a month, and I'm still not used to my wedding band. I fidget with it all the time. I spin in on my finger and actually take it on and off. It doesn't bother me too much, but it does when I'm typing. I have my fingers pretty spread out when I'm typing, and it moves on my finger, just a little bit, and rattles up against the adjoining fingers. I'm sure I'll grow accustomed to it in time. Adrianne already has a suntan line with hers. I must move mine too much, because I have no such trace. However, you could review #1 on this list for another answer.

Yesterday, after going to church in Owensboro, we headed to Bowling Green to see my Mom and Sis. I didn't get around to making the "picture to DVD" presentation I had wanted to make for my Sis before they came down last weekend, so I worked on it last week. Well, yesterday I delivered. Yes, it was the infamous "Speedo" DVD. It's not pretty! Let me just tell you that.

I took all of the pictures I had, put them in a slideshow presentation, complete with captions on almost every picture, and accompanied the pictures with music. You could probably guess the songs I chose, but I'll tell you anyway. "I'm too Sexy" and "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" are what I put on there. Sadly enough, they fit pretty well. We were all dying laughing at my shenanigans when we watched it. Well, Adrianne may not have been, since she saw them in person (and took all of the pictures) and has seen the pictures at least a thousand times now.

My Mom actually said "I sometimes wonder if he actually is mine" yesterday. I just told her that it's my job to keep her on her toes, and I strive to do that!

Now, the video has been viewed by a few other people, and I'm somewhat concerned about where it will end up. Luckily my Sis hasn't dabbled in web production, so I don't think it'll end up on the internet (unless Adrianne puts it on there, which might just happen, out of spite). However, I'm sure it will make its rounds in the PPG (that's the company my Sis works with) world, which could be even worse. Hell, I might just end up being their "sexy" poster boy! Who knows?

I just realized that I won't be able to have a political career, if that happened to come calling. There's just too much damning information available on me. Oh well! I'm corrupted enough, without being a politician! Maybe I'll start modeling?