THE DAILY DIVERSION

I try to tell myself this all the time, but it just does no good. However, I am trying, desperately, for the sake of my lovely wife, to calm down a little bit on it. I complain about the most stupid of things too. Sadly, most of them are things I cannot control, which makes it even more idiotic to do.

My first, and biggest, problem is complaining while I'm driving. I know that I have no control over anyone else on the road, yet I still verbally assault them, even though they can and never will hear me. This is a tough one for me, mainly because there will always be idiots driving while I'm driving. I'm working on it. Seriously! (luckily I don't drive much anymore)

The next thing that I complain a lot about is (what I call) stupid people. This is a huge category, partly consumed by my fellow drivers, but entails people I see on the street every day to reality TV to... well... just plain idiots! We've all dealt with them. Sometimes its the woman trying to return something at TJ Maxx, who's obviously worn and washed the garment, doesn't have the receipt, and tore the tags off of the thing, yet still has the nerve to argue with the employee that they deserve their money back, just because they don't like it.

Other times we encounter those people at restaurants that, no matter what the server, manager, or Jesus himself, does, they will not enjoy their meal. Their fajitas are just too hot, or their ice cream is way too cold. The ice isn't clear enough in their White Russian. The Garlic Mashed Potatoes taste like garlic. I'm working on figuring these things out. Anyway, it really takes a lot for me to get angry about a meal that I don't have to prepare. I don't complain too much about service and/or food, but I'll dog the other dipshits around me for doing it all day every day.

Here in Memphis I see some real doozies! I especially enjoy the fellas driving around in 1972 Olds Cutlass Supreme's with four different colors (two of them primer, one rust, and one the original color) on it, but having brand new 22 inch chrome rims and a $5,000 stereo, complete with a rattling trunk (anyone know that if you're going to pay real money on a car stereo system, then you're going to get your trunk lined with Dynamat to keep it from rattling, DUH!). Or, you see folks rollin' around in high-gloss "Ladies" (Escalades for the lay-person) or "Gatas" (guess what that is), but step out worn-out assed clothes, or better yet a fuckin' beater! (yes, a wife-beater! You know, plain, tank-tank, white t-shirt?) However, their babies will have on Sean John jeans, a FUBU button up, and a new pair of Jordans. Yes, I think "Priority Express" missed the delivery at their house/apartment/project that day.

Anymore, I just shrug these last couple of folks off, mainly because I see them WAY too often, so I guess it's just a cultural thing here. However, they still fit into my all encompassing "stupid people" list. There are times when I fit into the list myself, but I won't say when. I'm sure Adrianne could easily point a few out for us, if asked (stop emailing me asking for her phone number and/or email address!).

Lastly, the most stupid thing that I constantly complain about... Video Games. Yes, I'm incessant! I can win a basketball game by 30, shoot 15 under in a round of Tiger Woods, or beat another team in baseball by 10 runs, and still find something to complain about. Right now, my biggest peeve with the game I'm currently wearing out (MVP '06 - NCAA College Baseball) is that when I take a no hitter deep in the game the computer will start trying to bunt on me to break it up. I've had it happen in a ton of games. My pitchers are pretty good, and I work the strike zone very well, then I have all of that ruined by a jackass bunting in the top of the 8th inning!! Blasphemy!! If that happened in any baseball game from high school up to the pros, you could count on one of two things: 1) The next batter is wearing a baseball as a nose piercing, or 2) There's a fist-fight between the coaches after the game. You just do not bunt to break up a no-hitter that late. Whomever the programmer was that put that little trick in the game should have his ass kicked repeatedly until he goes back to programming fuckin' Super Mario Brother's games (which are dead and should stay that way!). What a prick!

Anyway, these are just a few of the things I'm trying to work on as a person. Really, I don't want to get all up in an uproar over these things, but, dammit, everyone can't really be this dumb! Right?

(Yes, I was full of self-righteous indignation today. I apologize! Notice, it took me until three in the afternoon to even get around to my blog today. On another note, all of this is probably because the only dreams I remember from last night were ones where I had to go take a piss. Yeah, that's a lot of fun to talk about!)