THE DAILY DIVERSION

ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US...

Yes, I'm making a weekend post. You'd actually think I'd make more of them, since my computer is right next to my bed, and that's where I have my dreams. It mostly just comes down to the fact that I'm lazy and don't feel like doing anything on the weekends. I guess this weekend is different. I almost made a post yesterday, but never got around to it.

So, without further adieu...

My Dream: I'm back at the first house we lived in when we moved to Bowling Green. I'm my current age, as is everyone else involved. My step-brother is there and we're talking about our futures. He tells me that his Dad and everyone else are pushing him to get back into the Marines, so he can go back to Iraq (in actuality he was in the Army, but in my dream it was the Marines). I tell him that he shouldn't do that, and, instead, do what he wants to do.

I track down his Dad to talk to him about it. When I finally find him we start arguing. I attempt to be reasonable and say things like "Iraq is getting worse every day. I only want what is best for him. I want him here, safe."

He replies with "You don't even know him. How long have you been his friend? What's it matter to you?"

I say, "Well, I've known him since we moved to Nashville in 1984. That's 22 years, which is pretty long! We missed a few years in there, but I still love him like a brother!"

As I say this he starts walking away from me. I absolutely hate when people walk away from when I'm talking to them. He was intentionally walking away`because what I was saying was right.

I go back to find Chip, my step-brother, to talk to him about it. I find him and start to tell him that I talked to his Dad. He just kind of shrugs, like he knows exactly how the conversation went. Then I woke up.

What it means? Well, there's a story that I have to start with in order to adequately explain what's going on here. I also think it with explain most of the dream too. My Mom met my step-father, Frank, when we lived in Biloxi, Mississippi back in 1982 or 1983. They got married in 1984 and we moved to Nashville that year. That's when I met my step-brother, and step-sisters. While I was never really close with my step-sisters, since they were even older than my sister, I did have a good relationship with my step-brother, who was only a couple of years younger than me.

He lived with him mother, outside of Nashville, after we moved up to Bowling Green in 1985. We got to see each other almost every other weekend from then on out and for two weeks every summer. When I got my drivers license, our parents would just send me down to Mt. Juliet to pick him up and bring him back to BG with me. Sometimes I'd go down and we'd just hang out in Nashville, the two of us.

In 1992, my Mom discovered that Frank was cheating on her with his secretary. A divorce quickly followed, and I have not seen either Chip, nor Frank since then. Well, I take that back. I've seen Frank in passing and from a distance, but I don't know if he knew it was me. However, I have not see Chip since then, and I hate that fact.

He joined the Army straight out of high school and has been in the reserves pretty much since then. Several years ago (I believe I had just started working, so around 1998 or 1999), my Mom found his Mom's phone number and I called him up. As luck would have it, he was in town for a short time period, and was getting ready to get shipped back out someplace. We set up a meeting place and time in Nashville, and I'm excited to see him again.

I get there and wait and wait and wait. After over an hour had passed I decided to call him Mom again. That's the only phone number I had, and I don't believe he had a cell phone at the time. I end up talking to him Mom and he got his orders early. He didn't get the chance to say much more than "Bye" to her before he had to report to the airport early that morning. So, seeing him again was put on hold.

I thought I might get lucky a couple of years ago, since he was living in Bowling Green, with his Dad, for a while. My Mom actually ran into him and talked to him a few years ago while he was working at a local car dealership. I thought this was going to work out for us to meet again, but it never happened. I'm not sure if he got called to active duty or what, but when I went to the dealership to find him he wasn't there anymore. Now, I'm just kind of in limbo.

Chip was the closest thing to an actual brother I've ever had. I've got some great friends who are "brothers" to me, but Chip was the first friend I had once we left Mississippi. I guess, subliminally, I still long to have that relationship. Hopefully, soon, we can cross paths again.

Now, I think that adequately covers most of the dream. I think Frank walking away from me, goes with the divorce and everything that happened in the wake of that.

No real happy thoughts this morning. Just wonderings about the past and the future. I do want to believe that everything will come full circle and lives will find themselves together again. In other words, fate will wield it's hand for me again.