THE DAILY DIVERSION

CRAPOLA! IT'S MONDAY MORNING, AGAIN...

It is officially the first day of spring, and, in Memphis, it is exactly like it supposed to be the first day of spring. RAINING! It started somewhere around 10 pm last night and, as far as I know, hasn't stopped since. It woke me up a couple of times last night, since I'm not that deep of a sleeper, and even crept into my dream.

Speaking of my dream, I don't really want to talk about it today, because I'm not sure what it really means, and I'm afraid if I discuss it, then it might hurt someone's feelings, and I don't want that to happen. However, if I don't get it out, then how will I ever deal with it? So, here goes...

My dream: I'm just hanging out ay my Mom's old house in Bowling Green when I get a call on my cell phone. I don't recognize the number (I can see numbers but they make no sense), but I answer it anyway. It's a voice I haven't heard in a very, very long time, but I recognize it immediately. She asks me, "What are you doing?" I tell her, "Just hanging out at Mom's, waiting to hear from Adrianne. What about you?"

"Well, I'm in town, and wanted to hang out with you for a little while." I think for a split second "How are you just 'in town' from Iowa?', but I let it pass and say "Okay, cool. Come on over."

We just hang out and talk for the better part of the day. Adrianne even comes over to meet her. Everything goes fine with that. Adrianne isn't a jealous person, so I think that's why it worked out the way it did. As night falls my guest asks if she can stay with Mom and I. I don't know why, but I say "Okay".

The house has now changed and there's only the two bedrooms and a bathroom, so that leaves one option. Yes, she's sleeping with me. I talk to Adrianne on the phone prior to going to sleep, like I do every night, and tell her that my guest is sleeping with me. Again, she acts cool with it.


I sleep in the nude, regardless of anything, as does she. The strange thing is, I can't see any of our body parts. Obviously I see her face, my arms, legs, and her arms and legs, but none of the "other" things that you'd look for when two people are naked together.

Nothing at all happens as we sleep together. We don't even discuss it. It was like the two of us, being adults, weren't natural hedonistic animals? She gets up and out of bed and clothed within seconds. Mainly, because she hears my Mom stirring around outside. She's across the room at the dresser, when my Mom comes through the door.

"We weren't doing anything!" She shouts. I'm still laying, naked, under a single, flat sheet, and it's known by everyone in the room.

My Mom says "I know, I'm just needing to get my address book out of the bottom drawer of the dresser." She reaches down and gets it and hands it to my Mom. My Mom leaves the room.

My guest then heads for the bathroom. I follow, with a white robe in tow. She gets in the shower first and I follow her. We're both almost fully clothed in the shower. She's wearing shorts and a dark t-shirt, and I'm wearing a pair of basketball shorts, with my sunglasses on top of my head.

The tub is getting dangerously close to overflowing, so we decide it's time to get out. Now, I'm kneeling down in the tub. I don't know why, but I throw something (I don't what it is though) out of the tub onto the bathroom floor and follow it by throwing my sunglasses right with it. The next thing that happens is I pull the piece of gray plastic out of my mouth. It was lodged over one of my front teeth in my gums. As soon as I remove it my mouth starts to bleed. I begin spitting the blood into the bathtub.

She's out of the tub, dried off and leaving, and I'm still kneeling in tub deep water, spitting up blood and reaching for my towel.

I wake up to the sound of the rain.

What it means? Well, this dream tormented me all morning. I had trouble going back to sleep after it was over. I didn't want to take the chance of going back into it, and seeing what happened. At the same time, though, I wanted to sleep again, so maybe I could have another dream and forget about this one. I had another dream, but it still didn't push this one out of my head.

I'll start by telling who "my guest" is. Some reading may already know. It is the first person I ever asked to marry me. To say our relationship was tumultuous would be putting it nicely. We had our ups and downs, just like everyone, but our ending was very sad, and unfortunately it still haunts me. She left me, emotionally, long before I finally, physically, left her. I was dead inside for a long time following that. However, I'm not the person now that I was then, and we all know who that is due to! I guess the old saying "What does not kill you only makes you stronger!" may actually be right.

Crap, I've gotten way off course here. The dream. Yes, the dream. I have a feeling I know why she's in it. As anyone who's been reading this knows, I've been packing for my big move this week. While packing things up I found a bunch of old pictures. Mostly just pictures from college, but there were some of she and I. I don't know why I haven't thrown them away, but I haven't.

I think the fact that Adrianne is "okay" with me hanging out with her in my dream is letting me know that she's "okay" with my past, and I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things! I also think that me not being able to see body parts and not "doing" anything is a sign that I'm over that part of my past. Actually, I feel like I have been for years now, but maybe my subconscious is just now catching up? It just had ADD and couldn't focus on that, I guess?

The address book I find somewhat interesting also. I think it signifies me letting everyone know what I think. I know, so now the world knows, right?

Next thing... The overflowing bathtub. I decided to look up what the bathtub could stand for, and this is what I got...
Bathtubs: To see or be in a bathtub in your dream, suggests a need for self-renewal and escape from everyday problems. You need to rid yourself of the burdens that you have been carrying. Alternatively, it indicates your mood for love and pursuit of pleasure and relaxation.

Hmm... too many "escape from everyday problems" mentions in my dreams lately. Maybe I need to take a little day trip sometime soon and get away? Maybe I'm just tired of being at work all the time, since it seems like that's all I've done recently. I think I'm just anxious to see my honey. It's been a couple of weeks and I really miss her. It's been a while since we've gone a couple weekends without seeing each other, so maybe it's catching up with me?

The last thing that I see as significant is the blood loss I'm experiencing. Obviously when you're bleeding you're usually injured, but it can also mean getting the bad things out of you. In this case, two things happen simultaneously. My "guest" leaves while I'm bleeding. That can't be a coincidence, right? Two "signs" of purifying myself? I looked it up after thinking about it for my self, and here's what the dictionary said...
Blood: To see blood in your dream, represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments. To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you.
Well, all of that could actually make sense, except the last part. I was absolutely exhausted last night. I did nothing but pack boxes on both Saturday and Sunday. I didn't get much rest and knew I had to come into work today. I can't think of any bitter confrontations between my friends and I, so we'll wait to see about that one.

So, my dream wasn't one that I wanted to have, but I think it's got a good meaning, after really thinking about it. I think it kind of sums up like this: I've come to a very good part of my life where I can really let the past be the past and not dwell on it anymore. I have what I want in my life (the person) and she accepts me for who I am. I'm a better person now, because of the people I have in my life.

Song of the day: "The Blister Exists" by Slipknot (who else?) from Vol 3: The Subliminal Verses

Before I could even listen to this song I got another in my head, and it was because of how the dream was ringing in my head. However, I do remember waking with the chorus of this song rattling in my cerebral cortex.
Yeah, like I really wanted to remember that dream! Damn you Slipknot!! Damn you!!

Okay, so I'm taking a shower this morning and the stupid dream is there, bright as day (possibly because I'm in the shower?), and the only thing I can think of is...