THE DAILY DIVERSION

YOU'RE A THESBIAN? REALLY?

Well, back in the saddle. After not remembering my dream yesterday I had a good one last night, which will lead me into the song of the day too.

My dream: Well, again it's kind of a jumble, but the main point of it is that I'm acting in a musical. I have no clue what the musical is, but I know I have to sing in it. The first time I read the script I remember it word for word. We're doing our first practice of it, and I'm nailing it while everyone else is still reading from the script.

Before the next time we're to have practice, myself and another guy who is in the musical with me decide to go visit this ancient ruin where they're actually carving the face of the new queen or something into the side of the monument. "Man, she is ugly!" That's the only thing I can rememer saying to my buddy (who just happens to be the same guy that was in a musical with me back when I was in middle school, but we're adults now). We think nothing of it and head to practice.

The musical is being directed by one of my college professors (who actually did direct the plays that were put on, on campus, back then). Well, we start trying to practice, and this time I've not got a one page color printed paper, front and back, with all kinds of things written on it. Most of the stuff is in columns, and there's even advertisements on it. I look at it and then at the director and say "I don't remember any of this stuff being in the script?" The other actor in the musical is saying his lines and I keep vigorously scanning the page, front and back, for what he's saying. I even look over at him and say "Where is that? I can't find it?"

Finally, we get through the opening dialog, and we're now to the first song of the show. However, before I can start singing we hear this huge eruption. We all look outside and the head they were carving into the red stone has fallen off onto the ground below and is looking directly at us. Again I say, "Damn she is UGLY!!" All of a sudden all of these Roman-esque warriors start filing out to preserve the statues head. They end up somehow putting in on a robot style body that is made out of the same rock the head is. It was really some wacky stuff, and didn't follow with the rest of my subliminal thoughts.

So, that commotion is over with and it's time to get back to the song. I take my place, sitting on top of a wooden fence (it was one of those privacy fences that has two sides of fencing with a half a foot wide plank in the middle), which wasn't all that comfortable, but it was my job to be up there, so I did it. Now, I can't remember the words to the song. I had just sung it word for word at the last practice, so why is it not in my head anymore? My co-actor sings the first part, and I hum it to myself, but it's just not clicking. We try to start singing it, but nothing comes out of me that makes any sense. Then, the director shouts "Hold on! How about this?" She presses play on a CD player and I hear a beat I've heard before. With this crazy look on my face I say "Is that Nine Inch Nails?" She just smiles at me. I can barely hear the opening verse and then the chorus screams:

Man, that made me happy! I start rockin' out and then I wake up.

What it all means? Where there several symbols in there. The main part of being an actor goes back to one of my loves and may just be my subconcious yearning to be in the spotlight. I'll look it up though, too, just in case. From my favorite dream dictionary website:
"To dream that you are an actor, denotes that your hard work and labor will be well worth it in the end. It also indicates your strong desires to be recognized and acknowledge. This may also be an indication of a role that you are playing in your real life, whether it be the role of a parent, sibling, co-worker, etc. Or perhaps you are putting on an act or a facade."
I think that seeing people you haven't seen in a while is an indication of yearning for the past. I'm not really sure though. They could just be random individuals that played part in those type of events before. Here's what the dictionary said:
"To see people from your past in your dream, refers to your shadow and other unacknowledged aspects of yourself. It can represent a waking situation that is bringing out similar feelings as your past relationships."
The next two things go hand in hand, I believe. The fact that I remembered everything the first time, and then forgot it the next time should coincide, right? I do have a photographic memory in waking life, so it wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibility that I could read something and completely memorize the entire thing. That happens sometimes. As for forgetting...
"To dream about a memory, suggests that your are ready to rid yourself of your old ways and undergo some sort of transformation and new outlook in life. Recalling a memory in your dream may also be less of a shock then if you had recalled the memory in your waken state. It indicates that you may have learned something from your past."

"To dream that you keep forgetting, is your subconscious manifesting itself in your dream that you may have forgotten an appointment or date."

Next, I'm going to touch on the statue thing. It was really kind of weird, because it had no place in my dream and what was going on. It just kind of slipped in there unannounced.
"To see people you know as statues in your dream, symbolizes a lack of communication with that person and that the relationship is inflexible. On a more positive note, it may represent someone you idealize and admire."
Yeah, that's great, but I don't know who's head it was on the statue, so I don't know who I'm not communicating with and/or idolize/admire. As for seeing just the head on the ground, I found two things that it might signify:
"To dream that you or someone else is being beheaded, signifies poor judgment or a bad decision that you have made and regretted."
"To see a head in your dream, signifies wisdom, intellect, understanding and rationality. It may also represent your accomplishments, self-image, and perception of the world."
Wow, if those aren't two completely conflicting accounts. I know I've done plenty of stupid things in my life, so it could easily be the first, and the second is alright too. However, I don't have that great a perception of the world. My accomplishments and self-image are still a work in progress.

Okay, that's about it for the day. I believe last night's dream was intentionally jumbled up, with the piece added in to make me think about it. My interpretation of it: I'm working hard to be recognized and/or acknowledged (probably at work), and that I've made some mistakes in my past, but I've recognized them and I'm trying to work through it, to be more like someone else, whom I think is a success.

There you go! Oh yeah, I almost forgot...

Song of the day: "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails from Pretty Hate Machine

It's a good song. One of Trent Reznor's first and best ones. Don't even ask me why this was part of my dream!! Luckily I didn't get to this part of the song: