THE DAILY DIVERSION

MAN! THE OAK RIDGE BOYS RULE!


I'll start off with my silly song of the day, since it's, well, silly. Actually, it's close to ridiculous!

Song of the day: "Elvira" by The Oak Ridge Boys from Fancy Free (circa 1981)

Wow, talk about out of nowhere! Where do I even begin with this one?


I remember this song from when I was a kid. It was silly then, and it's even crazier now. I'm still trying to figure out how it popped into my head? Well, like Tootsie Roll Pops... The world may never know?

I figured I'd have some heavy metal song in my head this morning, due to the fact that I was listening to my "Static X" playlist yesterday at work. Sometimes you just need to be bouncing in your chair whilst you're working. It was also due to the fact that I knew I was going to be here until at least 6 pm last night.

I believe I left at 6:10. I did get home in time to see most of the Braves game last night. Noone got hurt and they won, so it's all good! However, I was definitely the "woman of the house" last night. That's said jokingly, naturally. I had to do a lot of ironing last night (like 15 shirts, but I won't have to iron shirts for at least 3 weeks, so it's cool), and I sewed a few buttons on my suits that had gotten loose. Yes, that Home Ec class I took at Drakes Creek waaaaaaay back in the day is still paying huge dividends!

I was rudely interrupted out of a dream this morning, so I am completely unable to remember anything from my sleeping time. I haven't slept too well the last couple of nights. I've gone to bed at a reasonable hour, but have spent nearly 3 hours tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. It's silly how I complained a little bit about trying to get used to someone being back in my bed with me, and now I'm complaining because I was used to someone being there. Turnabout is fair play I guess.

Maybe at lunch I'll run over to The Gap and see if I can get them to let me borrow a mannequin? Better yet, I'll run down to the Forum and steal my buddy's life sized Brittany Spears Cut-out? (it's pre-completely white trash breakdown, and kids too)

I did try a different sound last night, and I think it worked pretty good. I got to thinking yesterday after I posted about the other sounds that were on that "dream machine" I had, and the only other ones I could recall were "ocean" and "country". Obviously, "ocean" was the waves crashing to the shore, and "country" was outside at night, complete with crickets and the like. I kind of remember liking the "ocean" one, so I downloaded some "wav" files from Partners in Rhyme. It's a pretty good website, with a ton of sound effects, all royalty free, thus not illegal to download.

Now, onto what some, I know, came here to see...

I made a promise yesterday that if a certain someone would repost the picture of their toes (for Dahbeed) that I'd post a picture of when I tried to lose one of my pinky toes. Obviously I didn't try to do this intentionally. As a rule of thumb, I try not to lose any parts of my body. Sometimes accidents happen though.

Before I show the pictures I will give some background info. Yes, I had been drinking. No, I was not completely inebriated. Afterwards I wish I had been.

At home I rarely wear shoes, while indoors. As usual, this evening I was kicking it like Joe Jackson (not Michael's Dad either). I was rushing around the apartment doing something, possibly cleaning, possibly just being a crack head. I don't remember. Anyway, for some stupid reason I ran into the bathroom.

In the bathroom I had a cabinet sitting to the left as soon as you walk in. Being partially intoxicated I didn't swing to the right quite enough and caught only the pinky toe on my left foot squarely on the bottom of that cabinet.

To say the pain was excruciating would be a slight understatement. However, I was not going to call an ambulance for a stupid pinky toe. Hell, whenever evolution picks back up again we're going to lose that digit anyway, right?

I iced the little sucker down for a half hour and took a Darvocet and went to bed. This is what I woke up to the next morning (as well as with a difficult time walking):



I should've thrown a Blue #22 jersey on that last picture. It would look just about right, right?

I took these pictures only because "someone" didn't believe me that I nailed the little sucker that bad. I don't know if you can tell from the pictures, but I hit the thing so hard that I bruised some of the inside of the toe next to it also. Now that's some damage!

It just so happened that I had a doctor's appointment only two days after this happened, so I hobbled around on this pig hoof until then. When the doctor asked me if I had any problems I just said "Well, I think I might have a broken toe, does that count?" He just smiled at me and said "Let me check it out".

It wasn't broken, but he said "Damn, you really tried to hurt that little guy didn't you?"

So, Beed, how do my tootsies stack up with Summer Sanders?