THE DAILY DIVERSION

SCOURING MY BRAIN FOR A LITTLE ACTIVITY

Friday, May 05, 2006

THINKING IS A DANGEROUS THING...

I don't have a lot to talk about this morning, believe it or not. I didn't remember any of my dreams from last night, but I did have a song in my head, which kind of flows into something I've been thinking quite a bit lately.

Song of the day: "Right in Two" by Tool from 10,000 Days

I've been singing part of this song both in my head and aloud since I first heard it. That part would be "Monkeys killing Monkeys killing Monkeys", just ask Adrianne. She's already tired of the new album, even though I can't get enough of it. I haven't listened to anything else since Tuesday. I just keep listening to it over and over. If I don't take a lot of breaks, while at work, I can almost listen to it in its entirety 6 times in one day. It does clock in at just over one hour and fifteen minutes ya know!

Anyway, that's not the part of the song that gets me thinking. It's the entire song, so here are the lyrics (some are not fully confirmed yet and are noted in the brackets):

"Right in Two"

Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.

Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys
Where there's one you're bound to divide it
Right in two

Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason,
And this is what they choose?

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they forge a blade
And where there's one they're bound to divide it
Right in two

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club,
And beat their brother down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability,
To lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here.

[Cutting it all right in two
/ Cutting our love right in two]

Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over your lie, over blood, over anything
Fight over love, over sun, over nothing
Fight till they die,
(Ahhh!) over what? for their ending

[This whole section is still being debated over. It's really quiet in the song and you can barely make out that Maynard is saying anything]

Angels on the sideline again,
[Mixing love / Benched along] with patience and reason.
Angels on the sideline again,
Wondering where this tug of war will end.

[Cutting it all right in two
/ Cutting our love right in two]


So, here goes... (picture me cutting open my chest to bare my soul)

I'm not a very religious person. I barely have belief, to be honest. My Mom was forced to be a strict Southern Baptist as a child and never forced belief on my sister and I. Instead, she taught us right and wrong and how you should treat your fellow man (or woman). These things are most commonly called "morals". Most people immediately assign that term to religion, but it's not always the case.

When my Mom remarried, her new husband was a Catholic. So, we began attending the Catholic Church on the important holidays. We rarely went otherwise. I started learning little by little about organized religion then. I ended up going to a Catholic college after finishing high school. At Brescia I had to take religion classes and learn about the faith.

I think this has opened me up even more to be a thinker about religion, instead of a believer. I have studied other religions, including Buddhism, Hindu, Muslim, and others. I've never felt comfortable being restricted into any of them. I know people find their own faith and where they are comfortable being. Some people, unfortunately, are forced to believe how they believe, and know no different and have no desire to open their minds to anything else.

Here's where I have problems. I don't believe I should force how I believe/feel on anyone else. I think people should use their "free will" and decide what is right for them. However, there are so many "believers" in this world that feel it's their job to force-feed their religion to everyone else.

When it comes to religion, I'm a listener, unlike in everything else, where I'm a talker. I want to hear what others are saying, until they get to this point... "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal savior?" (or something along those lines)

Also, I hate it when someone finds out about my "beliefs" and says "Well, you ought to come to my Church. I think you'd like it. It's not like all the others." That's such a crock of shit. Most of those people just want to get me there so they can make their feeble attempts to brainwash me. Like one session is going to do it. I’m too hardheaded for that!

Anyway, I do not trust anyone who is paid to speak the gospel (which has been changed to fit what they want to tell people). I have more faith in Priests than anyone. At least I know they have gone to school and studied, specifically and in-depth, what they are trying to preach. It should be noted that a good friend of mine from college is now a Priest and will be presiding over our wedding. So, I have some contact with Priests. It's the Reverends and Pastors I don't trust. There’s something odd about a guy driving a Cadillac preaching to people that had to ride the bus to hear him and give his “church” money that they need to feed their families that just drives me crazy!

Okay, I got off subject, but what's new? It's funny, because when I go to church with Adrianne I usually just sit there and let everything sink in. I want to hear the passages that are being read, and how the Priest interprets them. From there I can come to my own conclusions about what was discussed. That's kind of the way I like it.

However, at the same time, I don't feel like people have to live within the confines of being in one place at a certain time once a week to be a "believer". I'm afraid a lot of people abide by that ideology. If they can do it and look at themselves in the mirror, then so be it. I’m not one to tell someone the way they practice their religion is wrong!

I feel like anyone can be a believer and not attend a church even once in their lifetime. They can create "God" within themselves. No, not like David Koresh or something! Belief begins within, so you have to have "God" within you before you can go any further. Actually, you don't even have to call it "God", other religions have different names for "it".

So, there's some background. I've been thinking, for a long time (since I was in college) about heaven and hell. I don't believe in purgatory, since that was made up by the Catholic Church during a time of need. Many people believe that when you die, you either go to heaven or hell, based on how you lived your life. If you were good, and have repented for your sins, then you get to go to heaven. If you were bad or didn't repent, then you go to hell.

It's all so cut and dry right? Well, not in my world. I don't really believe in heaven and hell. All I really know is that there has to something better than life on earth. As much love, enjoyment, peace, and the spectrum of good things that happens while we're here, there are so many horrible things we have to endure, witness, and/or sustain. So, here's what I think...

If there is a heaven and hell, then our lives on earth have to be our penance in "hell", and through death we get to "heaven". The afterlife has to be better than this, right? If I'm forced through watching the people I love die, violence, hatred, and ignorance for, hopefully, 70 plus years, then I'm hoping there's something better waiting for me when I close my eyes for the last time.

I work to do right in my life everyday. I don't want to be a bad person. I try to give as much love as I can to the world, in hopes of making it a better place, little by little. I can't fathom being tortured throughout eternity because I enjoyed fornicating, partaking of alcohol, gluttony, and any number of so-called "sins". It's just not the way it all works in my head.

I know many will not agree with me, and that is okay. I just do my best to keep an open mind, and to continue to learn more about why other people "believe" the way they do. I also feel like there is good in every person, no matter how bad they may seem.

(picture me being stitched back up)

PS - Please feel free to lambaste me. I have thick skin, but, even more, I like to hear what people think. If you don't feel comfortable posting comments about this stuff, then send me an email. I promise I'll check it sometime this month.

PSS - If this whole blog were a book, I would be on page 103 right now. Everyday I save my entries onto a Word document, just in case. I checked today, and this latest entry busted me over the 100 page mark. Do you think I talk to much, or do I just think too much?
||Inflicted on you by John, at 8:48 AM

2 Comments:

You definately TALK to much ;)
I think that your belief system within yourself is a good start with experiences to back up your thoughts...Don't you ever hope to 'stumble' into that great religious circumstnce where all the world possesses more of a purpose than for our own personal/selfish gains??
Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:34 PM  
It is a great hope to find "enlightenment". I just haven't stumbled upon it yet. I also believe that you can't lead a horse to water. One has to discover things for him/herself.

Maybe one day I'll have a higher power to answer to?
Blogger John, at 3:33 PM  

What do you think?