THE DAILY DIVERSION

Now, I think that I'm a relatively humorous person. I try to make sure those around me are nearly always amused. However, this morning I had someone else really put a smile on my face.

I don't know if you've seen the movie "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy", but I love it. There's one part of the movie where Ron and one of his buddies, Brian Fantana, are discussing colognes. Brian has a specific scent called "Sex Panther". Anyway, I'm not going to go through the entire scene, but if you want to watch it for yourself, here it is:



Anyway, this morning I was introduced to a fragrance that may rival even the mighty "Sex Panther". Not necessarily in odorous emanations, but definitely in name. Yes, someone here at work has a perfume called "Delicious Pussy".

Really, I can't make that up! The bottle it comes in looks just like a fingernail polish bottle, but it has a very generic label on the front with "Delicious Pussy" spelled out. It's just silly!

So, every time I've walked by this person today, I've had to say "Man, it smells delicious in here!" This is how we amuse ourselves in a cubical world!

Now, onto something not as funny. Well, at least to me anyway!

Last Saturday morning at 10 am, tickets to a March 30th show in Southaven, Mississippi by my favorite band Tool went on sale through all ticketmaster outlets. Since I didn't know of any outlets in Bowling Green, I decided to purchase my tickets online.

Promptly at 10 am I clicked the "find tickets" link and was given the option to purchase 2 tickets in section 106, row M. Now, these seats aren't bad at all. They are the second section away from the stage, so we'll still have a good view of everything. I thought I did great, to tell the truth.

When we got back to Memphis on Sunday night I thought I'd look to see what, if any, seats they had left for the show. I went through the same process as before and this time it said there were only upper deck seats available. I was happy. I knew that I got the best seats available and didn't really think anything of it.

Then, yesterday, I was talking about it with my co-worker, and decided to look again to see what was available. I checked it out and they had section 110, Row A available. These tickets aren't better than mine, as they are directly in front of the stage (which looks like about 75 yards away). However, I got to looking more at ticketmaster's website and noticed they have an "auction" area on there.

This piqued my interest so I went to see what they had available for auction. I figured this was where people who bought tickets that they didn't need were putting them back on the market for sale. Boy was I surprised.

It appears as though ticketmaster holds out specific tickets (yes, makes them unavailable to purchase outright), namely floors seats in the first through fifth rows of the first section (basically stage seats) and the first 5 rows of the lower sections adjacent to the stage (the section closer to the stage than my tickets), and offers these tickets "at auction" for considerably more than the face value of the tickets.

Personally, I thought "scalping" tickets was illegal. The opening bid price on the floor seats, first row are $205, while the face value is $48. Does that make sense?

It just pisses me off that I don't have a fair chance to purchase these tickets, outright, for their true price, but, instead have to pay the "going rate" for them. I think it's a sham and they should be reported to the Better Business Bureau. I'm going to look into it, and I'm also going to try to let the band know that someone is ripping off their fans.

Geez! I just realized that I really sound like a baby. No, I'm not pissed about not getting floor seats or anything. Truthfully, I don't want to be on the floor. I like where our seats are. They are a little further away from the stage than our seats at the John Mayer show, but it's also a smaller venue, so we might be just as close.

However, I am pissed that I don't even have the remote option of getting those tickets, as I'm not going to pay in excess of $200 for concert tickets, when I know the money isn't going to the band.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox!